Buying a car really is that awful

Bad/annoying things that happened to me while I was shopping for a car, after I totaled mine:

1. I had to run my credit about 14 times. Each day. And sales people apparently have a complete lack of typing and spelling skills. (Oakridge is one word folks!)

2. Car dealers would repeatedly make me sit at a random desk for two, or three or forty-jillion hours while they “checked with a bank.” Then, they would come back pretending I had been approved, and ask me for a bajillion dollars down. Then, I would have to say that I do not in fact have a bajillion dollars and walk out. All told, that’s about 25 hours of my life I’ll never get back.

3. Stupid salesmen tried to negotiate with me on a monthly payment amount while simultaneously refusing to say how much the freaking car actually cost.

4. Every time I went anywhere, the salesman would try to up sale me at least $1,000. Trust me dudes, I would love to give you another $1,000, but the thing is, I only have $50 in my bank account.

5. When I finally got a car, the dealer never actually finalized the financing, so I had to go back to the stupid dealership so they could tell me that the only loan they could get me was about $30 more a month, so then I had to give them back the car I had been driving for two weeks, and wait in Chicago for two hours for my mom (the hero!) to come get me. (Note to readers: Mercury Dodge on Pulaski should be shot). On the upside, I had some awesomely authentic Mexican tacos while I waited at a restaurant across the street.

6. Seriously, do you understand how bad it sucked to fight with those stupid people at MERCURY DODGE and then give them back my car?

7. AND THEN! I left my all-time favorite CD in the stupid stereo (Sara Bareilles, “Little Voice”).

Now, for some good things:

1. Carmax doesn’t totally suck! HUZZAH!! (Turns out, they really are “the way car buying should be”).

2. They just approve you for a loan, right there in the little room in like 7 minutes, and they don’t try to trick you with the price.

3. After I returned the 2006 Camry at Mercury Dodge, I ended up getting a 2008 Chrysler Sebring, with heated leather seats, a heated/cooling cup holder, automatic start and a pretty hood for $400 less at Carmax!

4. I almost spontaneously made out with the car salesman when I found out about the automatic start.

5. I have achieved two of my life-long goals: To have heated leather seats in my car, and to own a Chrysler.


And, in honor of my new new car, enjoy. (I could watch this all day long!).

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I’m officially a “racer”: My first 5k

So, the 5k race not only did not suck, it was also kind of awesome.

I ran a my very first 5k this morning, and before you even ask, that’s 3.1 miles and I finished in 42 minutes. (HOLLA!!)

My goal was to finish in less than 45 minutes, because that’s where I’ve been at in my training runs (Ya, that’s right, I use cool phrases like “training runs” now). But then, the adrenalin was totally real, and my pace was jacked because there was like 200 other runners, so I ended up finishing the first mile in 12 minutes (see: miracle). And then, by the second mile, I was at 27 min.

And then, the last mile wasn’t even that awful. Mostly, I’m guessing, because two of the other runners from my group came back to run with me across the finish line, which was seriously the most awesome thing ever. And ya, a little bit of throw up came up my throat when I finished, but holla! I FINISHED!!! IN 42 MINUTES!!!

It was seriously so fun. And one of the guys in our group said I was glowing afterward, and he wasn’t even just referring to all the sweat.

Aside from not dying, I’d say the coolest part was at the 1.5 mile mark, where the volunteers handed us cups of water and then we drank them while we ran and then we threw the cups down on the street. That’s totally something real runners do on TV!

Anyway, my goal for next time is to finish in less than 40 minutes. And ya, that’s right, I said “next time.”

Not only was it all super fun, but the people in my little church run/walk group are so awesome to hang out with, that they’re addicting even without the adrenalin.

They cheer me on, and run slow with me during training (well, I run, they sometimes speed walk next to me). And they always say “GOOD JOB!” like they really mean it.

One of the guys even told me today that I’ve gone from “jogger” to “runner” to “racer” now. He was probably just being nice, but I’m just going to go ahead and pretend like he was serious, because it made me feel really happy on the inside.

I hear there’s some sort of Thanksgiving Day race, where runners dress up as Turkeys. Sign me up, YO!


Wearing the number on my shirt, made everything very official. This was the “before.”


This was our whole little church group in the “after,” and that’s me BEAMING from the back. I think I was thinking “I LIVED!!”

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A long hot minute

Hey there, it has been a hot minute hasn’t it.

Sorry about that folks. It’s been a long hot minute for me though yo, and so for the next two maybe twenty sentences, I just really, really want to throw a pity party for myself. If you aren’t interested in such activities feel free to skip the following three paragraphs.

So, I’m just really, really tired, and I’m broke, and a couple weeks ago I led the youth mission trip for my church, and anyone who’s ever led anything involving 12 teenagers, two vans, 5 hours of sleep a night and one bathroom for 38 girls plus adults, will tell you that it is the single most exhausting thing ever (aside from, I’m assuming, giving birth). It’s also super rewarding and life changing and awesome and more worth it than anything (again, aside from, I’m assuming giving birth), but you just come back feeling like you’ve been wondering around the dessert for 40 days.

mission trip 2011 look out mountain

(Lookout Mountain, which was more of a hill at the top of its game).

Then, as soon as I got home I tried to dive right back into life, but my body was like OH NO YOU DIDN’T, and I got really sick, and had to take more time off work. Then last week I ran Vacation Bible School, and it too was awesome but also exhausting, and then on Thursday, I totaled my car when I rear-ended someone on I-294 just north of the O’Hare Oasis, and I cried a lot, and the stupid state trooper gave me a $120 ticket because he sucks at life, and then while I waited for the tow truck I had to pee super, super bad, but couldn’t and then debated just using a taco bell cup in my car but didn’t and then I prayed really hard, and finally the tow man arrived and took me to a McDonald’s bathroom.

totaled car

(For the three of you who haven’t already seen this on my Facebook, this is the “after”).

And then, I had to car shop, which basically, sucks. I’m pretty sure the dealer I went to is shadier than a willow tree, but he gave me Oxycontin or something so I feel in love with a 2006 Toyota Camry that has leather seats and the prettiest black paint you ever saw. And now everyone is trying to tell me to be happy about getting a new car, but really I’m just sad that I had to sign my life/soul away for the next six years for a sunroof and a car that doesn’t require any duck tape.


(She’s so pretty. Also, expensive).

So in conclusion, the mission trip rocked, being sick was my body’s way of screaming, CALM THE CRAP DOWN, Vacation Bible School leaves Christian ear worms in your brain all day, so that you wake up singing “Boom Chicka Boom”, I love my new car/hate my new car payment, and I’m going to hit the pillow early tonight for sure.

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