this is the story of how a bush in front of my house spontaneously combusted.

or so I’m told.

i was driving home from work Sunday night, day dreaming about the cute firefighter i had met a few days before thinking how i kind of wished there was a fire and then he could rescue me. and BAM. there was a fire.

for real.

except he didn’t come. but a real fire truck did. complete with firemen.

apparently the bush had caught on fire, my neighbors had smelled smoke, and then they had rushed outside to throw a bucket of water on it. they also called the appropriate authorities. about three seconds later, i got home from work to burned bush.

and i shyte you not, the fireman tried to tell me that the mulch had somehow got hot enought at 10 p.m. at night to spontaneously start on fire, because, according to him THERE WAS NO OTHER EXPLANATION.

im sorry? what? really? REALLY?

“Will it spontaneously combust AGAIN?!”

“No ma’am. there’s water on it now.”

“Oh. ok.”

i was so tried i believed him. for real. and then my roommate was like “WHAT? THAT’S CRAZY!?”

and i was like, “oh. huh. a bush starting on fire for no reason does sound kind of crazy. now that i think about, im pretty sure the only time i’ve ever heard of that happening was in the bible.”

unfortunately the firefighter had already left when i figured that out though, so i have no freaking clue how the bush caught fire.

in case you’re one of those people who likes photographic evidence of bushes that spontaneously catch on fire, here you go: