wordpress, people hating me, snowflakes and late-night music

1. (note to non-wordpress users: this will mean nothing to you so feel free to skip down to number 2). WordPress keeps yelling at me to switch to WordPress 2.7.1, except im pretty sure if i try to do that, my whole blog will burst into flames. so instead, i have thus far decided to resist change in this one itsy bitsy aspect of my life.  however, if anyone out there is fluent in WordPress, feel free to be in touch and then come over to my house and then hold my hand and feed me ice chips while you walk me through the transition one step at a time with the patience usually reserved for children.

2. Some dork from springfield keeps leaving comments on my blog telling me that he hates me. first of all, although you think your “FYI” user name is anonymous, i can in fact trace the IP address. second of all, if you hate me, why are you reading my blog? third of all, i get paid per click on this thing no matter who does the clicking. i make exactly the same amount of money off the people who love me and secretly wish i would make out with them, as i do off the people who hate me and secretly wish i would die.

3. I heard a really cool story at church this morning. im reprinting it here because it kind of the sums up the way i look at life and my own choices to do the right thing. although my pastor shared it with us, he didn’t make it up so for accuracy purposes, im giving it to you here via this web site:

“Tell me the weight of a snowflake”, a sparrow asked a wild dove. “Nothing more than nothing”, was the answer. “In that case I must tell you a marvellous story”, the sparrow said. “I sat on the branch of a fir, close to its trunk, when it began to snow – not heavily, not in a raging blizzard: no, just like in a dream, without a sound and without any violence. Since I did not have anything better to do, I counted the snowflakes settling on the twigs and needles of my branch. Their number was exactly 3,741,952. When the 3,741,953rd dropped onto the branch – nothing more than nothing, as you say – the branch broke off.” Having said that, the sparrow flew away. The dove, since Noah’s time an authority on the matter, thought about the story for a while, and finally said to herself: “Perhaps there is only one person’s voice lacking for peace to come to the world.”

— From New Fables, Thus Spoke the Maribou, by Kurt Kaufer

4. Last night, my neighbors were playing music. outside my window. at mid-night. MID-NIGHT. and i thought, “surely there is a parent on my block who will share my outrage and go outside and ask these idiots to turn off their freaking radio in the middle of the freaking night.” but alas. that did not happen. so then i thought, “surely one of the 74 cops who live in my neighborhood – because the county courthouse is a block away – will wake up and go outside and tell these idiots TO TURN DOWN THE MUSIC!.” but alas that did not happen either. and after they played “blame it on the al.al.al.al.al.alcohol” AGAIN, i got up and went outside and told them to turn it down. and they said “fine” as though I was one being unreasonable.

The saddest part of this story is that i needed sleep because i had to wake up early for church, but i didn’t want to sound like a loser, so instead i told them i had to work Sunday. which i do, but not until 2 p.m. do think God’s mad that i didn’t go with church?

  • Share/Bookmark


  1. At least it was loud music at midnight on a Saturday and not a domestic at the same time on a Friday (which I dealt with after my night cops shift). It’s really fun hearing a woman scream, “you broke my nose, ohmygod you broke my nose!” for a half hour and then deny it when the cops show up. Sigh.

  2. Love your post. It’s like the folks that comment how much they hate the newspaper … obviously something’s bringing them back to read, and we’re profiting every time 🙂

  3. in response to #1 … you should do this … it is importante

    if you have a techy friend, take advantage of them and go through this: http://codex.wordpress.org/Upgrading_WordPress

    i assume you have access to your hosting account?

    *be sure to back up your whole site, including your database*

    after you update to the 2.7 point gazillion you will be free from having to do the technical stuff … it has a sweet “update” button in the admin section!

  4. Lots of dorks live in Springfield. In fact, (and by “fact” I mean not at all factual), the citizens of Springfield buy more novelty baseball caps and neckties pro capite than any other city within a 18-foot radius. Of course, novelty baseball caps and neckties are standard dork attire, so it stands to reason that your dork lives among dorks in a sea of novelty accessories. As I type this, odds are pretty good that he is wearing a multicolored cap with an artificial ponytail hanging off the back, pretending to play Moonlight Serenade on his keyboard necktie.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *