Attn: Swimsuit makers of the world

Attn: Swimsuit makers of the world:

Why the crap are there no one-piece bathing suits in all the racks of all the stores on all the earth?


I need a one-piece for my church mission trip. (Church people tend to have, you know, standards and whatnot, you understand).

This shouldn’t be hard.

This should be fun. I lost a crapton of weight, and I should LOVE bathing suit shopping this year.

But no. NO! Instead, I am left to scour the racks of the old-women areas trying to find something that doesn’t look like it’s actually a dress made to cover every area of my body ever.

I don’t want a dress.

I just want something cute in ONE PIECE!





My sister was feeling my desperation so much that she suggested I sew two pieces together. Is that what this has come to? IS IT?

I’m at my wits end here people.



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  1. I just saw saw cute “illusion” one-pieces. The kind that basically tank with bottoms (no bare midriff), at Kohl’s. Swimsuit shopping is always an interesting, oft-times frustration adventure. I’ve rarely found one that works when I’m actually looking. But it can be done! Good luck, sounds like a great trip!

  2. i like those old style, full-body swim suits from the 1920s. you know, they had stripes and you would go into these tents on the beach to change. often times you wore a swimming cap of some kind too.

    I’m thinking next time the occasion arises where i need to wear swimwear, i’m just going to dress like a sailor.

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