seriously, vegan food doesn’t suck

holy freaking crap. i just tried veganaise today and it is so d@mn good.

seriously.

it’s mayo for vegans and i had it on toasted organic bread with tofurky and tomatoes. in conclusion, i was pretty much in heaven.

tofurky is so good i can eat it alone.

but add all those other things to it and i can suddenly live without sex. without chocolate. without johnny depp. without money. i can suddenly live without dairy, eggs and meat.

i had only ever tried generic brands of soy turkey and vegan mayo before and let me just say — go name-brand foods!

seriously.

sometimes when i remeber im a vegan i freak out because i think about all the stuff i can’t eat (mozzarella. omelets. m&m’s. kraft cheese and macaroni. cream of broccoli soup) but then, i eat something a.maz.ing like veganaise.

and i think ‘wow! what will they come up with next? vegan snicker’s bars?’

*sigh* if only.

if.

only.  

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seriously, vegan food doesn’t suck

holy freaking crap. i just tried veganaise today and it is so d@mn good.

seriously.

it’s mayo for vegans and i had it on toasted organic bread with tofurky and tomatoes. in conclusion, i was pretty much in heaven.

tofurky is so good i can eat it alone.

but add all those other things to it and i can suddenly live without sex. without chocolate. without johnny depp. without money. i can suddenly live without dairy, eggs and meat.

i had only ever tried generic brands of soy turkey and vegan mayo before and let me just say — go name-brand foods!

seriously.

sometimes when i remeber im a vegan i freak out because i think about all the stuff i can’t eat (mozzarella. omelets. m&m’s. kraft cheese and macaroni. cream of broccoli soup) but then, i eat something a.maz.ing like veganaise.

and i think ‘wow! what will they come up with next? vegan snicker’s bars?’

*sigh* if only.

if.

only.  

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bad vegan math

OK, i seriously DO love. it. when people who make vegan food clearly state on the product “vegan.”

but im starting to think that the people who make these food products don’t really understand what vegan is, because a bunch of them are labled “100-percent vegan.”

true story. (note photographic proof above).

i know! right?

because the thing is, food either is vegan or it’s not. so if something is say, oh, FIVE-percent vegan, it would automatically be non-vegan.

saying something is “100-percent vegan,” is like saying someone is “100-percent pregnant.” or that your grandma is “100-percent alive.” 

in conclusion, if any of you guys out there were thinking of starting a vegan-food business — complete with packaging — please. please. please. take this post into consideration when considering your marketing techniques. also, totally call me because im looking for a new job* and i’d so be interested in working for a vegan-food business.

*note to current employer, im about 50-percent kidding on the whole “looking for a new job” thing.

 

 

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