humor – Page 15 – The only certainty is bad grammar

This is rough.

September 9, 2010 Crystal exercise, god, humor

I’m ordering soda left and right.

I’m eating taco bell for lunch, and McDonald’s for dinner. Working out like two times a week on GOOD weeks. Not sleeping. Barely blogging. Wearing clothes four times between washes, because I have no time for laundry. (Wearing jeans 10 times). Trying to keep my head above the flood that is my life.

These two jobs and their corresponding commutes are getting to me.

There I said it. It’s out there.

I’m having a rough time.

Heck, more than rough.

I get so tired that I want to cry, but I don’t have the energy.

God gives me strength every day. And, I’d rather be busy than bored, but ya.

This is rough.

Cha-Cha

August 19, 2010 Crystal feminism?, humor, im cool, short

I recently asked Cha-Cha who I’m going to marry.

Er, well, I had my sister ask, “Who will my sister Crystal marry?” (I thought specifics were necessary).

The reply:

Maybe his name will be Chuck, and he will be a basketball player who plays for the New York Knicks.

Know anyone who fits that description?

A nerd with a worn-off spray tan.

August 11, 2010 Crystal feminism?, humor, medium

I’ve starting wearing my hair in double french braids every day because blowing dry your hair sucks and I have no time for such things.

I also finally threw away those two-week contacts that I’ve been wearing since, umm, Lent (ish), but that means I’m sporting my glasses on a daily basis.

I’m officially a nerd with a worn-off spray tan.

I blame my new commute. Spending almost three hours in a car everyday to go from Naperville to Crystal Lake via a detour and back is about as much fun as a migraine mixed with a sprained ankle mixed with sunburn.

I’m never going to find a boyfriend this way.

Seriously.

The way I figure it, the only chance I have of meeting a nice, respectable boy/man/guy is if I crash into someone somewhere along Route 59, but I kind of think that would kind of suck, seeing as how I need my car so much these days and the potential for injuries or whatever.

But these are the things I think about when I’m driving. That, and I try to figure out whether Brett Favre will actually, really, finally retire this year so the Bears can make the play-offs.

Anyway, ya, do you know anyone?

Perhaps a nice, young man who doesn’t mind french braids, glasses and a worn off spray tan?

Also, who lives close by?

Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?