humor – Page 52 – The only certainty is bad grammar

a pretty blank day

July 15, 2009 Crystal daily photo, humor, medium

don’t get me wrong, some shyte happened today and whatnot, it’s just that none is the kind of thing i can post here.

i mean there was the thing with that one guy and then the other thing with the other guy.

oh! oh!

AND that one thing with that one girl.

sigh.

ya. can’t write about any of that here.

i swear, it’s almost enough to make me wish that i didn’t go around telling people about my blog all the time.

ha.

ya right. like THAT’S ever going to happen.

in other news, i did change my earrings today for the first time since getting them pierced. i went with a lovely little blue flower that i got as part of a three-pack on sale for $2.65.

seriously.

im cheap like that.

here’s a pic in case you’re sitting there on the very edge of your seat cushion wanting to know what they look like (and yes, i really am that pale):

an ode to “When Harry Met Sally”

Published: July 12, 2009 / Updated: July 12, 2009 Crystal humor, long, movie review

When harry met sally

“I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

– Harry Burns.

Last night i was feeling down about being single because i had just hung out with a crapton of happy families and their happy children, so i decided to watch the best, most honest, most inspiring movie ever made in regards to relationships: “When Harry Met Sally.”

cinema sigh.

the movie chronicles the relationship between harry and umm, sally. and how they randomly meet a couple times before finally getting their crap together and falling in love.

and along the way they address some of the common things men and women run into. right off they bat we have them talking about how men and women can never be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too.

Then we move into the biological clock thing, which as soon-to-be 26-year-old woman, i have to sally’s perspective on the whole thing makes me feel pretty good about life. She claims it doesn’t really start to tick until you’re 36. phew.

and at one point sally and harry are talking about high maintenance women, and harry invents a category for sally that im pretty sure i fall into:

Sally: Which one am I?

Harry: You’re the worst kind; you’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.

Sally: I don’t see that.

Sally: You don’t see that? Waiter, I’ll begin with a house salad, but I don’t want the regular dressing. I’ll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. “On the side” is a very big thing for you.

Sally: Well, I just want it the way I want it.

Harry: I know; high maintenance.

and throughout the whole movie they play these little clips of couples talking about how they met. and some of them are CRAZY! like this one:

Woman: We feel in love in high school.

Man: Ya, we were high school sweet hearts

Woman: But then after our junior year, his parents moved away.

Man: But i never forgot her.

Woman: He never forgot me.

Man: Her face was burned on my brain.

Man: It was 34 years later when i was walking down broadway and i saw her.

Woman: And we both looked at each other and it was just as though not a single day had gone by.

Man: She was just as beautiful.

Woman: He was just the same. He looked exactly the same.

Umm. holy wow! it took them 34 YEARS to find each other again? and then when they did, they made it work! that’s nuts people. NUTS!

But the thing i love most about this movie is that all the different love stories (harry and sally, as well as the other ones woven throughout) give me hope that i don’t have live my life like a text book fairytale. that i can have a happy marriage to somebody i meet in an unconventional way. and that people who have ups and downs can come out on the other side mostly up.

now, of course, the BEST scene in the movie, and maybe the best scene ever made: Harry professing his love for sally:

palin, bug bites and blackberries

Published: July 5, 2009 / Updated: July 5, 2009 Crystal blackberry, humor, medium

i want to start out this post by talking about how tired i am, but im beginning to worry that i talk about being tired way too much on this site and that concerned folk might start to worry about me.

so instead, let’s talk about how there is NOTHING on tv on sunday mornings and how i probably waste like 8 hours a week flipping through channels waiting for either a XX:00 or a XX:30 so new shows will start.

oh. and how palin RANDOMLY QUIT!?

i mean, what the heck? i have been checking my blackberry like a crazy person looking at all types of news sites trying to figure out who will be the first to break the REAL reason behind her resignation.

im sorry, i just don’t buy “the media is mean.” and “i don’t want to be a lame duck.”

come on alaska media, i know it’s a holiday weekend, but get your crap together and break some news for crist sake!

also, we should talk about mosquito bites. this just in: they still SUCK.

im pretty sure i have about 73 right now after sitting outside participating in fourth of july activities yesterday. and they’re itching.

holy crap do they ITCH!

i used bug spray. and then i got some in my eye and then it burned like crazy.

also, citronella candles are just one big scam, because they have never, ever worked at any outdoor gathering i have EVER been too.

on another note, i got a new cover for my blackberry:

see how pretty it is?!

i heart the pink and the wonderful swirls and the lovely leaves.

i got it at a kiosk at woodfield. and it was marked as $25, but the stupid thing wouldn’t click closed and the sales lady was trying to tell me it was because i had a misshaped battery, which im pretty sure isn’t even a real thing.

so then i was like, “umm just forget it.”

and the lady was like, “no, no. i can close it.” and they did pretty much close it except for a little clip on the left side.

so i was like “really, just forget it” and she was like “what about another design? i’ll give you another design for $15” and i was like “no. really, i want THIS design. so really, just forget it.”

and then she was like “ok. i’ll give it to for $10.”

and i took it.

then i used the $15 i saved to get my eyebrows waxed.

yay me.