short – Page 20 – The only certainty is bad grammar

stressed is desserts backwords. true story.

October 1, 2008 Crystal sh*tty things that happen to me, short

you know those times when you make a mistake at work. and you start dating someone with baggage. and winter weather knocks on your door and you realize you’ll be cold for the next 8 months due to your low iron. and your roommate gives you the knowing eye when she learns you’re not perfect. and then you make another mistake at work. and then you realize that the world is financially ending. and you start wondering if you’ll ever get married. or have kids. or good credit. or long hair. and you take a bath only to realize they no longer relax you?

ya. me too.

on the plus side, i’m totally going to a real-life new kids on the block concert Saturday. I’m pretty sure they’ll be sheet sets for sale alongside the cassett tape stand.

no longer “Daily”. now “Random” photo: 09.30.08

September 30, 2008 Crystal daily photo, humor, short

ok. ok. I ACTUALLY took this particular photo on 9.29.08. so sue me.

and yes, I KNOW now that I apparently suck at keeping daily commitments (a la, my lack of posting daily photos longer than a week). i’m a bad person. get over it.

anyway. here’s a picture. I see now that the flower is absurdly out of focus, while the boring grass is crisp as a cracker.

whatever. dude. I took a picture. with my blackberry. I liked it. and now I’m posting it.

and p.s. the point is, it rained here yesteday. all. freaking. day. but i STILL pick rain over snow.

note: this post might make you gag (but i don’t care)

September 27, 2008 Crystal humor, im cool, short

so this guy i like, well, we e-mail and stuff a lot. and at the end of our e-mails we write a sentence that starts with “miss you like” as in “miss you like newspapers miss the classified ads they got before the Internet came along” or “miss you like candles miss the night”

and then, one time I e-mailed this boy a picture of myself and he wrote back:

“miss you like my heart just missed a beat.”

and then i married him.

yep. i seriously married him right then and there.

ok.

i didn’t marry him.

but i would if he asked, because that is THE best line a guy has ever said to me.

and the best part is, im pretty sure he meant it.

🙂