Wow – Page 4 – The only certainty is bad grammar

HOLY FOOTBALL!

Published: January 18, 2011 / Updated: January 18, 2011 Crystal bears, humor, medium, Wow

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! I CANNOT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL EVER EXCEPT FOR SUNDAY AT 3 P.M. RIGHT NOW!!

Can you BELIEVE the BEARS are playing the PACKERS in the PLAYOFFS????

As my brother Steve so elegantly said, “This is going to be epic.”

Dudes, whomever wins this game will have the bragging rights to last through the next 50 or 60 decades.

Whenever anyone is all, ‘Ha, my team beat yours,’ The winner of this game will forever be able to counter with, ‘Ya, but we won that playoff game back in 2011 and you didn’t. The end.”

I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty scared.

I mean, you know, it’s not like I don’t totally believe the Bears can win. (Come on, this game is in OUR HOUSE. And the Bears have been passing and then catching the ball on a pretty regular basis AND we have Robbie Gould). But, you know, there’s just so much on the line.

Plus, all the commentators are spending all their stupid free time being all, ‘Aaron Rodgers is awesome. Aaron Rodgers is the greatest quarterback ever. Aaron Rodgers will you go on a date with me?’

Blah and throw up.

For the record, he is not a god. And green and yellow make an ugly color combination. So there.

In conclusion, I really, really, really hope with all my heart that we (and by “we” I mean, “The Bears”) win this epic, colossal, monster, monumental, very, very, very, very important game!

GO BEARS!!!

The regular rotation

Published: October 20, 2010 / Updated: October 20, 2010 Crystal feminism?, humor, im cool, journalism, medium, Wow

Woah. So. It’s 11 p.m. already and I’m just now sitting down to dinner with my roommate and her boyfriend.

11.

And I have to wake up at 6 a.m. tomorrow.

This is my life now.

I do not understand people who are bored. Who are these people and why aren’t they helping me do my laundry?

Ya. Whatever. It’s been like two weeks since I did my laundry and I had to wear my leopard skirt to work today, which I’ve had since I was 16. True story. And depending on which top I pair with the skirt, it can go either professional or hooker.

I did get about 50 compliments on it though, so maybe I should put it back into the regular rotation.

Moving on, I had a fantastical day!!

My editor said she was pleased as punch for me and the happiness that rained down. True story.

Isn’t that the awesome? Pleased as punch. It’s got the greatest ring to it.

I’m totally bringing that phrase back into the regular rotation. I’m going to be all, “What? You’re getting married? Well, I’m just pleased as punch for you!” And, “Did you say you got those shoes for 75 percent off?? Well, honey, I’m just pleased as punch for you!!”

Go ahead, test me by telling me some good news. Just wait. Also, if you could grab that laundry basket, that’d be awesome. Thanks.

Also, you should know that my roommate and her boyfriend made the awesomest veggie spaghetti!! It had soy meat, and sauce and there was salad and garlic bread and a pre-meal prayer. And her boy calls it family time when we all hang out.

I’m thinking it’s something that could land in our regular rotation.

I’m alive. And in Florida.

June 23, 2010 Crystal god, humor, Wow

I swear that I do not even have time to poop at this place. I’m down here in Daytona Beach, Florida leading a high school mission trip and this is the first second I’ve had online since Friday night.

It’s amazing and awesome and God is here changing hearts and lives. And don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll write tons about that as soon as I get back to the real world.

For now though, here are some pictures to keep you happy 🙂

mission trip hair

How I wear my hair almost every day here.

sand

I wrote my name in the sand, and then a youth kid wrote “I heart” How cool is that?

shell

A seashell by the seashore.