OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! I CANNOT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL EVER EXCEPT FOR SUNDAY AT 3 P.M. RIGHT NOW!!

Can you BELIEVE the BEARS are playing the PACKERS in the PLAYOFFS????

As my brother Steve so elegantly said, “This is going to be epic.”

Dudes, whomever wins this game will have the bragging rights to last through the next 50 or 60 decades.

Whenever anyone is all, ‘Ha, my team beat yours,’ The winner of this game will forever be able to counter with, ‘Ya, but we won that playoff game back in 2011 and you didn’t. The end.”

I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty scared.

I mean, you know, it’s not like I don’t totally believe the Bears can win. (Come on, this game is in OUR HOUSE. And the Bears have been passing and then catching the ball on a pretty regular basis AND we have Robbie Gould). But, you know, there’s just so much on the line.

Plus, all the commentators are spending all their stupid free time being all, ‘Aaron Rodgers is awesome. Aaron Rodgers is the greatest quarterback ever. Aaron Rodgers will you go on a date with me?’

Blah and throw up.

For the record, he is not a god. And green and yellow make an ugly color combination. So there.

In conclusion, I really, really, really hope with all my heart that we (and by “we” I mean, “The Bears”) win this epic, colossal, monster, monumental, very, very, very, very important game!

GO BEARS!!!