bears – The only certainty is bad grammar

HOLY FOOTBALL!

Published: January 18, 2011 / Updated: January 18, 2011 Crystal bears, humor, medium, Wow

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! I CANNOT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL EVER EXCEPT FOR SUNDAY AT 3 P.M. RIGHT NOW!!

Can you BELIEVE the BEARS are playing the PACKERS in the PLAYOFFS????

As my brother Steve so elegantly said, “This is going to be epic.”

Dudes, whomever wins this game will have the bragging rights to last through the next 50 or 60 decades.

Whenever anyone is all, ‘Ha, my team beat yours,’ The winner of this game will forever be able to counter with, ‘Ya, but we won that playoff game back in 2011 and you didn’t. The end.”

I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty scared.

I mean, you know, it’s not like I don’t totally believe the Bears can win. (Come on, this game is in OUR HOUSE. And the Bears have been passing and then catching the ball on a pretty regular basis AND we have Robbie Gould). But, you know, there’s just so much on the line.

Plus, all the commentators are spending all their stupid free time being all, ‘Aaron Rodgers is awesome. Aaron Rodgers is the greatest quarterback ever. Aaron Rodgers will you go on a date with me?’

Blah and throw up.

For the record, he is not a god. And green and yellow make an ugly color combination. So there.

In conclusion, I really, really, really hope with all my heart that we (and by “we” I mean, “The Bears”) win this epic, colossal, monster, monumental, very, very, very, very important game!

GO BEARS!!!

Does this mean my new Bears coat is bad luck?

October 4, 2010 Crystal bears, humor, medium

I have come to the conclusion that the Giants are meanies.

Man, that was hard to watch.

Seriously, what happens when a third-string quarter back gets hurt? Does Gould go in? Because if Gould goes in, I’d think he’d be pretty reliable in the position. I’m just sayin.

My heart goes out to Jay Cutler though. The guy doesn’t suck. He doesn’t. His offensive line just secretly hates his guts so they move out of the way anytime someone from the opposing team even looks in their direction. Or maybe they’re just scared of the other guys. Or maybe they’re just figments of our imagination, and Lovie doesn’t even actually have anyone playing those positions.

Whatever the case, I feel bad for Cutler. I didn’t see the first half of last night’s Bears’ game because I was doing church stuff, but I did listen to the second quarter on Bears Radio 780, so I heard seven of the AND CUTLER GETS SACKED AGAIN!!!s.

Makes me cringe just thinking about it.

And then, because it’s apparently a record or some crap, I got to watch the replays of all 9 sacks on Cutler over, and over, and over as commentators talked smack about my beloved Bears.

Rough night man.

On a better note, let me get a HOLLA!!! for our defense. Those guys rock. They’re all, “Oh, you think you’re going to get a touch down because you’re one yard from the goal? Ha! No. Let me just pop that ball right out of your arm.”

Good times.

But then, of course our stupid offense couldn’t even get out of the end zone so the defense had to come right back on the field. And I know they had to be tired. I would be if I played like 55 minutes of a 60 minute game because my offense thought first downs were bad luck.

Don’t misunderstand, I’m still going to go around being happy that the Bears are 3-1. That’s still good. What? It is? And maybe Sunday’s game will force the Bears to look-up “running game” this week on Wikipedia or something, and they’ll come back with some better plays.

I still have hope for this team and I still believe with all my heart that they will make the play-offs this year.

Now excuse me while I say a prayer for Cutler’s quick recovery and a new offensive line.

Hey there!

January 5, 2010 Crystal bears, blackberry, daily photo, humor, im cool, medium

OMG, if you’re not a bears fan, I’m sorry but!

I don’t think they’re going to fire Lovie!

My friend Jeff at work, who always knows everything about sports like a psychic or something, explained it all to me, and he doesn’t think they’re going to fire him because of the stupid $11 million they’d have to pay him and really the team needs to spend that on a new offensive line, and Jeff was totally right about Rio getting the Olympics, so ya.

Boo.

I’m so mad at him.

Lovie. Not Jeff.

It’s going to be so hard to trust him next year after the mess he led our team into this year.

“The 2009 Bears! Hey, at least we beat the Vikings that one time.”

Moving on, I have no pants.

Well, I have like one pair of black pants, but really, even though I bought them like a month ago – they’re too big. And I can’t even wear heels with them to make them look less “too big” because of my stupid ankle.

I used to just wear dark jeans to work hoping nobody would notice, but now umm, I can’t, and it is too darn cold to wear a skirt, so I have to get more pants. Back in the day (July) I thought shopping was lame because nothing ever fit me right, but now, I fit in appropriate sizes and let me tell you – shopping is still really freaking hard.

Seriously.

I should be out getting pants right now. I’m not.

And really, I need to just suck it up and buy the pants that are are size too small, but kind of fit and trust that I’ll eventually lose another 8 pounds (as had been my track record for the last five months) and then I will have pants that fit for a long time, but I’m scared I’ll jinx myself and never lose the next 8 pounds.

Oh, and also, why does nobody sell jewelry boxes?

I really need one because I have a bunch of earrings now and woah, do those things randomly get lost a lot. But I cannot find one anywhere and now I’m going to have to go to Claire’s and it might have to be neon pink.

Oh and guess what?! My friend Krista has been moving her WordPress.com blog over to her own domain and she got this photo widget thing and then she told ME about it. And now I can send pictures to my blog with a TEXT MESSAGE!! YAY! (Look to your right under ‘Can you see me now.’).

I predict that this will mean many fun times for us. Also, if you read me on RSS, you should click on my actual site and look at my pictures. 🙂