I got up at 4:30 a.m. today because I am obviously insane.
And I’ll probably do the same tomorrow.
I’m genuinely scared that the five girl scout cookies I ate this afternoon will somehow turn into 15 pounds.
Seriously. This is me. I think that. I believe that five girl scout cookies will some how mean an additional pant size.
So, I will get up at 4:30 a.m., poke in my contacts (which will kind of burn because they weren’t even out of my eyes long enough to become clean), plop into a car colder than ice (ICE!) and drive to jazzercize half-asleep, all while wearing a sports bra that I’ve worn for like three other classes this week.
I’ll smell awesome.
You kinda want me right now, don’t you?
I mean, you know I do all this, to make you want me.
And also the girl scout cookies. Actually, mostly the girl scout cookies. Because those things are awesome.