if you haven’t seen “broadcast news” then the following review is totally timely

editor’s note: the following is a follow-up to my previous post, found below or by clicking here.

to be fair “broadcast news” has some pretty great lines. I stole the following off imdb’s site here. even though you could just click that link and read them or you could just watch them in context by renting the movie from the “favorites” section at “family video,” i decided that im SO important that i should choose my favorites for your viewing pleasure. i will make them more valuable than “cut and paste” because i will add witty analysis after each one:

Aaron Altman: I know you care about him. I’ve never seen you like this about anyone, so please don’t take it wrong when I tell you that I believe that Tom, while a very nice guy, is the Devil.
Jane Craig: This isn’t friendship.
Aaron Altman: What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he’s around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I’m semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing… he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance… Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he’ll get all the great women.

I kind of think some people in my life are the devil in disguise. also, famous people like George Bush kind of remind me of the devil in this sense. and btw, God, in case im totally off base about Bush on this, im going to go ahead and ask for precautionary forgiveness.


Blair Litton: Oh, you think anyone who’s proud of the work we do is an ass-kisser.
Aaron Altman: No, I think anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their bosses buttocks and then *smooches* is an ass-kisser.
Blair Litton: My gosh… and for a while there I was attracted to you.
Aaron Altman: Well, wait a minute, that changes everything!

i like to pretend that one of my co-workers is aaron in this situation and one of my other co-workers is blair.


Paul Moore: It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you’re the smartest person in the room.
Jane Craig: No. It’s awful.

i feel like jane feels here. all. the. time. — not because i have a big ego, just because im always right and i think most authority figures are always wrong. (not all, just most.)


Aaron Altman: Wouldn’t this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If “needy” were a turn-on?

true that aaron altman. true that.


Aaron Altman: And if things had gone differently for me tonight then I probably wouldn’t be saying any of this. I grant you everything. But give me this: he personifies everything that you’ve been fighting against. And I’m in love with you. How do you like that? I buried the lead.

that’s funny to me, because i like to think of “buried the lead” as a newspaper insider term, so i felt smart when i laughed at this part.


[after Paul fires one of his workers]
Paul Moore: Now, if there’s anything I can do for you…
Employee: Well, I certainly hope you’ll die soon.

because i usually sometimes have seen people think this about bosses even when they weren’t getting fired.


Aaron Altman: Can you believe it? I just risked my life for a network that tests my face with focus groups.
[Jane Laughs]

i predict a future where newspapers test reporters faces with focus groups before deciding if they should give them a blog. you think im over exaggerating. i think you’ve never worked for a corporate newspaper.

tune in next time for inspirational quotes from “the little mermaid”*

*note: this post depends on movie availability at family video on Oregon Street.

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