movie review – The only certainty is bad grammar

i wish i lived in a city … and had $3x

May 31, 2008 Crystal im cool, long

go see this moive. right now.

drop whatever you are doing and go see ‘sex and the city’ right this second.

because it is THE best movie ever made.

ev.a.

i love it. i love it. i love it. i love it. i love it. i love it. i love it.

and just to get this out of the way: if you’re thinking ‘crystal, who did you go see it with?’ the answer is me. myself. i went to see it alone. because i’m an independent woman.

and i hate when people next to me talk when they should be listening to classic theme music.

and also, my really close friend in wisconsin claims she is movie-narcoleptic. (as in every movie makes her fall asleep. every time. i know. lame)

i don’t want to ruin even one second of this seriously amazing movie for you, so you can click the ‘more’ link if you want to know what i think. but beware of the spoilers.

if you haven’t seen “broadcast news” then the following review is totally timely

May 19, 2008 Crystal journalism, long, movie review

editor’s note: the following is a follow-up to my previous post, found below or by clicking here.

to be fair “broadcast news” has some pretty great lines. I stole the following off imdb’s site here. even though you could just click that link and read them or you could just watch them in context by renting the movie from the “favorites” section at “family video,” i decided that im SO important that i should choose my favorites for your viewing pleasure. i will make them more valuable than “cut and paste” because i will add witty analysis after each one:

Aaron Altman: I know you care about him. I’ve never seen you like this about anyone, so please don’t take it wrong when I tell you that I believe that Tom, while a very nice guy, is the Devil.
Jane Craig: This isn’t friendship.
Aaron Altman: What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he’s around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I’m semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing… he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance… Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he’ll get all the great women.

I kind of think some people in my life are the devil in disguise. also, famous people like George Bush kind of remind me of the devil in this sense. and btw, God, in case im totally off base about Bush on this, im going to go ahead and ask for precautionary forgiveness.

AND:

Blair Litton: Oh, you think anyone who’s proud of the work we do is an ass-kisser.
Aaron Altman: No, I think anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their bosses buttocks and then *smooches* is an ass-kisser.
Blair Litton: My gosh… and for a while there I was attracted to you.
Aaron Altman: Well, wait a minute, that changes everything!

i like to pretend that one of my co-workers is aaron in this situation and one of my other co-workers is blair.

AND:

Paul Moore: It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you’re the smartest person in the room.
Jane Craig: No. It’s awful.

i feel like jane feels here. all. the. time. — not because i have a big ego, just because im always right and i think most authority figures are always wrong. (not all, just most.)

AND:

if you haven’t seen “broadcast news” then the following review is totally timely

May 19, 2008 Crystal journalism, long, movie review

editor’s note: the following is a follow-up to my previous post, found below or by clicking here.

Aaron Altman: I know you care about him. I’ve never seen you like this about anyone, so please don’t take it wrong when I tell you that I believe that Tom, while a very nice guy, is the Devil.
Jane Craig: This isn’t friendship.
Aaron Altman: What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he’s around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I’m semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing… he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance… Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he’ll get all the great women.

AND:

Blair Litton: Oh, you think anyone who’s proud of the work we do is an ass-kisser.
Aaron Altman: No, I think anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their bosses buttocks and then *smooches* is an ass-kisser.
Blair Litton: My gosh… and for a while there I was attracted to you.
Aaron Altman: Well, wait a minute, that changes everything!

i like to pretend that one of my co-workers is aaron in this situation and one of my other co-workers is blair.

AND:

Paul Moore: It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you’re the smartest person in the room.
Jane Craig: No. It’s awful.

i feel like jane feels here. all. the. time. — not because i have a big ego, just because im always right and i think most authority figures are always wrong. (not all, just most.)

AND: