The only certainty is bad grammar – Page 138 – Too personal for the internet.

ok. fine. i freaking joined linkedIn.

February 2, 2009 Crystal humor, im cool, medium

apparently I’m like eight decades behind the curve on this crap, but I have finally joined LinkedIn. For those of you even more behind than me, it’s basically like facebook, but without all the underage drinking photos and status updates.

or at least as far as i can tell.

the most annoying part about joining a new online thingy is that i have to learn all of its social norms. for example, I really, really, really want to link to this blog on my linkedin because im a stupid girl who’s sole life mission is to get more clicks. however, my brief assessment of LinkedIn has led me to believe that linking to this site on a professional network such as it is would be like like showing my boss my bra — it’s not something i want to show him, but if he finds it himself, no big deal. i guess. maybe. or maybe that’s not the best metaphor here.

anyway, ya. my boss is on LinkedIn. and by “my boss,” i actually mean, like 5 of my bosses. so that’s weird.

i asked them to be my friends. oh. wait. crap. that’s the facebook in me talking. im sorry. i asked them to be my “connections.” or maybe i invited them. or did i actually just ask them to connect to me?

sigh.

see. new social networks are SO hard.

just to recap, i now have two facebooks (one for undergrad and one for graduate school), a myspace, this blog, my twitter, a LinkeIn, a 20-something blogger account, a fule my blog account, and i also run my rss feed on brazen careerist.

in conclusion, if you’re thinking of inviting me to anything online. well, as you can tell, i’ll say yes.

i.just.can’t.resist.

my saturday to-do list

Published: January 31, 2009 / Updated: February 1, 2009 Crystal exercise, humor, medium

i joined a gym today. I’m a little weary though because they’ve already lied to me. the blue sign out front CLEARLY stated that i could join for $18, but then they were all “well, yes, $18 joining fee, but also a $20 fee for so we can automatically take our monthly fee out of your account because we don’t trust you to pay us, AND $13 for the month of january. don’t worry, we’ve pro rated that for you though, because it’s the last day of the month.”

great. thanks. so where’s the stairmaster? over there. cool. here’s all my money.

now, those of you screaming that i shouldn’t have joined a gym because im broke can stop because my job offers $20 a month to be a member of a gym, so aside from all the lame fees, i pretty much get to work out free.

seeing as i how i had just paid $13 for January, I thought I’d better exercise before the month ended and all, so i got on the stairmaster and i climbed like 3,452 flights. ish. or at least that’s what it felt like. then after a quick shower, i went to my monthly torture session and got my eyebrows waxed.

after that i decided that i wanted to be able to listen to music the next time i worked out as opposed to the default ESPN they play at Cardinal Fitness, so i set out to get finally a new memory card for my pink crackberry.

holy crap are those stupid things expensive. the root of my anger is that i SHOULD get a discount on them because my mom is actually a verizon employee (hi mom!). but i had to con my way into the $12 off because the prison-guard Verizon people are super strict about taking any money off. the first two stores said “ya, no. i don’t know why your memory card broke. we can sell you a new one at full price though.” and i was like “that’s lame” so i went over to the verizon station at the local circuit city, which as it happens is going out of business, and flirted with the guy convinced the guy to just give me the stupid discount. and he did.

and i have since loaded my sara bareilles and JeDee Messina cds on to my phone. yay!

while driving around to all these places, i also called my old friend Justin. the guy and I go wayyyyyy back. like 12 years. true story. and he has a wife. and a kid. and a home. and his whole life figured out. so i started hinting that i was a little jealous about that. and he was all “umm. crystal. do you realize how much freedom you have? AND people just look like they have their life figured out. really. they don’t”

and that was nice to hear.

also, remember the post about me having no money? well a good friend sent me some money that made a huge difference and i don’t want to say his name here in case he’s weird about things like that, but i just wanted it to be on the record: thank you for being my friend.

if only we knew in 1981, what we know now.

January 29, 2009 Crystal journalism

This video is HIL.ARIOUS! and a little sad. in a funny, depressing kind of way.

Circa’ 1981 news report: “Engineers now predict the day will come when we get all our newspapers and magazines by home computer. But that’s a few years off.”

AND

“It takes over two hours to receive the entire text of newspaper over the phone and with a $5 an hour use charge, the new tele-paper won’t be much competition for the 20-cent street edition.”

like i said. hilarious in a sad way.

h/t Journalism news.