Every time I change something in my life, I reach right for the soda.

“Yes, I’ll have a taco – with no meat, add beans – and a water. Actually, no water. I’ll have a Dr. Pepper.”

It’s a bad sign.

I’m going through a lot of changes right now. With the move, and the new church job – which brings with it, changing churches – and having Jesse leave.

The last one, admittedly, is affecting me way more than it should. Or maybe it’s just hard to process because of the other two. I don’t know. Life is hard.

I didn’t realize I’d grieve so much leaving behind my Woodstock church. It’s the place that really had faith in me – to lead pie sales, and youth group lessons and a mission trip.

It was my family.

I loved it.

And I’m so excited about my new church, it’s not even funny. Seriously. I am. I know that God has called me to be there, and I can’t wait to dive in and see where this path takes me. But next Sunday will be my last service at the Woodstock church.

My last one.

I’m crying just thinking about that.

I poured my soul into that place and the youth there. I gave it my heart and that means I’m forever changed, and closer to God, and more amazing, and all that good stuff.

But it also means the Woodstock church will always get to keep a little chunk of my heart – which hurts to leave behind.

I think I need a soda.