sweat: the greatest equalizer / great america RULES!

my family loves great america more than we love breathing/each other/life, so we decided to go this week.

on tuesday.

the hottest day of the freaking year.

for those of you on the edge of your seat, yes i bought the season pass.


(anyone want to go to great america with me? or for that matter, any six flags theme park in the country? no. im serious. if you’re going, totally call me).

anyway, we parked in “Batman Section 44” (aka, the “cheap” $15 parking) and walked 1.3 miles to the gate. in that time, each of us lost 5.3 pounds of sweat.

holy sunbeam, it was HOT. no. wait. HOTT. there. now that i have added that additional T, you will be able to fully understand.

the good news is,  if you’re sweating, so is everyone around you. and that’s just the kind of confidence a girl needs when she has to wipe wet hair off her forehead and starts to realize that her deodorant isn’t making her as “sure” as she’d hoped.

my family is a multi-ethnic group, so only 3.2 of us had to wear sunscreen, but those of who did had on spf 70. and reapplied it. a lot. because we kept sweating it off.


and that crap BURNS when it sweats into your eyes. something, i find slightly ironic from a product meant to prevent burns.

anywho. who here has the entire six flags great america theme park memorized?


ok. for the 4.6 of you who know every roller coaster, here’s a rundown of what i went on:

the raging bull, the dark knight, vertical velocity (best ride eva), the batman, the eagle, and superman. also, i went on four different tube water slides, the lazy river and the wave pool.

summer sigh.

i love that place. and lines were super short because it was a tuesday. always go to great america on a tuesday people. everyone else in the world is in a cubicle on tuesday.

moving on, my mom lost my underwear and then i found them under a bench.

we were at the waterpark. and i handed her my clothes to stuff in the $14 locker ($14!! FOR A LOCKER??) and she dropped my pretty black underwear.

a top-five favorite of mine.

except i didn’t know that she dropped my freaking underwear until 3 hours later when i went to get dressed.

and she didn’t know she dropped them until i started screaming “WHERE ARE MY UNDERWEAR! YOU LOST MY UNDERWEAR!”

oddly, while walking to the bathroom, i looked to the right and there they were. in a little black bunch. my underwear. underneath some old, swimsuit-wearing man sitting on a wooden bench.

yes. i picked them up.

NO! i did NOT put them on.

jebus. really? what the heck freaking kind of person do you think i am?


what’s that?

oh. ya. i am going to wash them and wear them again later.

top-five favorite pair people. top-five.

alas, i had a feeling something like this would happen, which is why i had brought an extra pair. but they were all the way in “Batman Section 44” of the parking lot in the trunk of my mom’s car.

so i had to wear my wet swim suit under my clothes until we got there. which of course made it look like i had just peed in my capri pants. whatev.

then i had to strip down in the car and change, while i made my family stand behind the popped trunk. and i was all sticky, and gross and full of sweat and sunscreen and my clothes were icky.

but heck ya if didn’t get to wear underwear the rest of the day.

also, during the day i somehow twisted my ankel,which has resulted in a constant, painful limp today.

whatev. it’s cool. because I LOVE GREAT AMERICA!

i love the rides, and the people and the bonding and the vacation feeling and the adrenaline, and the rides.

i just love it so much.

i do.

  • Share/Bookmark


  1. Man, I haven’t been to Great America in a long, long time … in fact, I’m such a fossil, I remember when it was called “Marriott’s Great America.”

    Still, $15 to park????

    Anyway, glad to hear you enjoyed some old classic rides like the American Eagle roller coaster and Batman! The Line (er, Ride).

    Thanks to you and your family for stimulating the economy!

  2. I’ve never been to that park before, but I’ve been to Six Flags Great Adventure in Jersey. Does that count?

    Ha. I actually went to the closest amusement part, Carowinds, just yesterday and even though it wasn’t *that* hot (high 80s), I was melting when the sun came out to play. But it was a fabulous time, especially ’cause my tickets were FREE because of my job. Yay to that!

    Glad you had a good time!!

  3. I’m glad you went to Great America and from what I understand you better get there every chance you get because the word on the street is ,this is their last season. Bankrupt. I wish I would have read this sooner cuz I just gave some free tickets to the neighbors this morning. I would have gone if it were free, but if I have to pay, well I guess not so much. Last time we went there Ron nearly passed out after riding the Raging Bull. It was quite funny. He is old. Glad you had a great time. Hope your underwear holds up. The man with the worn out swimsuit, he didn’t touch them or do anything else with them did he? tee,hee

  4. They’re filing under Chapter 11 (reorganization) as opposed to Chapter 7 (liquidation) which means they’ll likely remain in business for the foreseeable future.

  5. I actually thought you might put the underwear back on. Didn’t you once pull a bandage out of the trash and put it on a wound? That’s hot. I mean, hott.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *