God broke the Internet

I’m pretty sure God broke the Internet today at my job.

Don’t tell my co-worker because she’d totally be p*ssed if she knew that’s what happened. I mean it f*ed up our day craptastically.

But, see, well, I was going to go to lunch the stupidest of stupid guys. A guy so stupid he doesn’t even deserve for me to mention him on my super amazing blog.

But God broke the Internet at my regular office, so I had to go work somewhere else and couldn’t meet him for said lunch.

The Big Guy was looking out.

See, I was doing so good on my own.

Like, not-texting-him, not-calling-him, not-even-thinking-about-him-during-most-of-the-sad-songs-on-the-country-radio-stations good.

But then I had this dream that I was searching and searching for him, and all I could get was a glimpse and well.


It’s the kind of dream where you fall asleep thinking maybe your thoughts have finally found a peaceful place, and a couple hours later you wake up with a broken soul aching to see him.

I tried to fight it. I walked four miles. I thought happy thoughts. I even switched the radio every time a sad song came on.

But that kind of soul aching lingers. And it spreads. And before I knew it I couldn’t take it anymore and I sent him a text.

I knew he’d reply. He always replies. That’s why the only way this whole awful thing between us will ever die is if I do it myself.

But I can’t do it myself. I need help.


So God went ahead and broke the Internet to lend a hand.

I guess he knew it’d be just what I needed to make it to the other side of today with a glimmer of hope that I can move past this.

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funny (stupid) things boys have said to me

> while laying next to him, i said “I like laying next to you.” he said: i wish i could clone myself, so i could see why people like laying next to me. moral of the story? when a girl says ‘i like laying next to you’ just say, ‘i like laying next to you too.

> while (another) boy was looking at my french manicure: ‘your nails aren’t even painted.’ oh yes. i just have supa whie tips naturally.

UPDATE: This is my first sucessful use of the write now-post later technology (aka, the time machine). and it seems to have been a succcess. now i just have to fix my flux capacitor and i’ll be winning tomorrow’s lottery in no time.

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