from left to right. my mom, me.
it’s not like i can go around ignoring a news peg like Mother’s Day. I’m a REPORTER people. so i will now take this opportunity to mention few specific things that make my mom rock.
- she always gives me $10 $20 $50 in gas money when i visit.
- she loves great america as much as i do.
- and water parks.
- she never pressures me to give her grandkids.
- she always pays when we go out for dinner.
- she helps me move like three times a year, even after all my other family members disown me.
- speaking of helping me move, when i got a job in south dakota, she didn’t even blink when i needed her to drive 15 hours in -80 degree weather across half the country to the mount rushmore state.
- im 25, but she still pays my cell phone bill.
- when i date losers, she gives me the space to figure it out by myself.
- she buys tofurky when i visit and even tells me she LIKES the way it taste.
- while we’re talking about tofurky, she has NEVER discouraged my veganism.
- she’s my biggest fan.
- when we fight, we always make up.
- she reads my twitter even though she barely knows what twitter is.
- she laughs at all my jokes
- she’s my mom.
Friday night I was in the mood for some boston market and about to pay for my all-sides meal when I got the call.
my grandma was on the other end, and said ‘didn’t you hear? (mom’s boyfriend) went after your mom with an ax after catching her with another guy and nobody has heard from you mom today. and he slit all your mom’s tires.’
i thought the worst. death crossed my mind. i couldn’t even think of a response. i got sick to my stomach and was too shocked to even cry.
darker hair. cooler phone. same towels.
first of all, yes. i love it!
second of all, my mom (a verizon employee with discounts) got it for me, so it’s not like im suddenly rich. (although some say i live in a mansion based on my attached garage status).
im talking about my new blackberry curve of course.
for those of you stuck in 2006, let me explain to you why a blackberry is god’s way of making up for 8 years of George W. Bush:
1. my text messages now are displayed as a running conversation. no more, “why did that boy say: he’d like a lick?!… oh. I told him i was baking cookies.” etc.
2. i can totally blog via my phone if i’m so inspired (this post is, however, done the old-fashioned way on a computer)
3. it has a 2 mega pixel camera (see above).
4. it has a digital voice recorder on it, which i can use to interview everyone from a random firefighter, to the mayor.
5. it makes you look really important when you use it.
6. it has a little scolly thing instead of flimsy arrow keys.
7. it comes with a ring tone named ‘crystal’ (yes this is true. yes i’m using it).
8. i can totally read things online (like dooce, or time.com/swampland or thesuperficial.com) when im bored.
9. it totally stores a bunch of music.
10. it’s synced to e-mail, which i can even reply to via my awesome phone.
11. it’s pink.
SEE! SEE how much cool stuff i’ve discovered in the past 24 hours! and im sure there’s just more to come!
im pretty certain i officially have the best mom in the universe.
wait, let me check all-knowing google ……. yep. “in the universe” stands.
if you or someone you love has owned a blackberry longer than 24 hours PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me cool things i can do with it. also send your pin to my phone and we can blackberry messenger (like the cool kids).
p.s. yes, i totally created a ‘blackberry’ category for my blog. what? it’s love people. LOVE!
UPDATE: Kim Kardashian totally has my phone! (see here).