tv – The only certainty is bad grammar

some man candy. oh. wait. is that sexist? / Burn Notice rocks.

Published: June 7, 2009 / Updated: June 7, 2009 Crystal humor, short

my friend krista is always posting Twilight pictures on her blog, no. seriously. like all. the time. (see here, here, here, and here).

so i figured i’d rip off her idea this once. (hope she doesn’t mind!). except i have never even read the back cover of a Twilight novel, so instead we have this awesome man.

It’s Jeffrey Donovan as Michael Westen (courtesy of the USA Network publicity photos).

i love him. lots. and if you’re not watching the show Burn Notice on USA (which he happens to be the star of) you need to start watching it like, yesterday. and it’ll be super easy because USA runs the show like every other hour in between episodes of Law and Order Criminal Intent, the only other successful show on the network.

Donovan plays a spy. a super cute spy. and he’s always charming, and smart, and perfect. and he saves the day by doing things like swimming five miles in a pant suit or impersonating a newspaper reporter.

and the show isn’t half bad either.

i’ve twittered this before, but it seriously makes me want to move to Miami (where it takes place) and become a spy. my understanding of the situation is that they get to blow stuff up pretty carelessly, make lots of money and swim in the ocean all day.

think of the material i’d have for blog.

seriously.

things i’ve learned about life by watching the show 24

Published: April 15, 2009 / Updated: April 15, 2009 Crystal medium

Last Friday I was in the mood for some serious tv crack, so i went to wal-mart and got a season of the show 24 on dvd. All they had was season one, which I’d already seen, and season three, so i got season three.

all 24 hours it.

anyone who’s ever seen this program knows it’s the equivalent of meth on your television set. it even infiltrates your body and makes your heart pound to the beat of the ever ticking clock while jack bauer tries to save the day.

tick. tick. tick.

sigh.

it’s pretty intense.

like any drug addiction though, i’ve come away with some life lessons 13 hits in:

1. Doing the right thing is always best. even (especially!) when the wrong choice seems like a win-win without consequences. PEOPLE! there are ALWAYS consequences. On the show this becomes apparent when characters take a bribe, get in cahoots with the enemy, or consider using a drug. the ones who make the wrong choice always die, while the ones who make the right choice, well, they go on to SAVE THE WORLD!

2. Nothing is what it seems. The good guy is the bad guy is the good guy again. and then, when you LEAST expect it, the bad guy again. true story.

3. Bangs were really popular in 2003 (when this season aired). I love bangs.

4. A lot can change in a day. People in your life could have random children, a virus threat could be part of a larger plan and anyone can die at any moment.

Which brings me to:

5. The main character can’t die. ever. especially on a dvd version of the show. HELLO, the secret’s out. he must live through the day, because there’s been like eight more seasons. unless there’s some sort of time travel im unaware of.

I’d write more, but I HAVE to find out what happens to Nina now. if you don’t hear from me in 11 hours, feel free to check in, because there’s a good chance i’m drooling in front of the tv set.

Hot damn, i need to live vicariously for 24 hours straight

June 20, 2008 Crystal im cool, medium

so ‘girl who sits next to me‘ lent me a new drug — season one of 24 on DVD.

It’s pretty much like meth.

I’ve decided i don’t really NEED sleep. it’s WAY more important to find out if Jamie is a dirty CTU agent. 4 a.m.: she’s not. 5 a.m.: she might be. 7 a.m.: SHE IS!

I keep going back to the disk menu and watching another episode. I’ve reached 8 a.m. — in two days.

i literally interact with this show. i duck when they duck. I shoot people with my imaginary gun when bad guys show up. I scream ‘I KNEW HE WAS DIRTY!’ when new information shows that mr. york is NOT in fact mr. york. the sound the clock makes has become one with my heart beat.

I also have a crush on the guy in the flannel shirt. He might play a 21-year-old on my tv, but im thinking he’s probably old enough to date me (love me) in real life.

I have an hour break from work coming up and im fantasizing about watching 8 a.m. to 9 a.m. i need another hit. and i need it now.

yes, i know this show first aired in 2001 (back when i was still living a dorm. with a roommate.) but that’s exactly why god INVENTED dvds. (nice work big guy).

*sigh*

this show so rocks.