Hello. My name is Crystal Lindell. I’m addicted to reading recaps of TV shows that I don’t actually watch.

For example, I haven’t actually seen the show “Big Love” since, umm, 2007, but I religiously read entires about it on Tuned In and What’s Allen Watching.

I do the same for “Scrubs”, “30 Rock,” “Cougar Town,” “Big Bang Theory,” “How I Met Your Mother,” “SNL”, “House”, and “Men of a Certain Age” (a show that I have not actually ever seen one episode of ever).

For real.

I used to tell myself that I was just going to read the recap and watch the episode later. But later comes, and then I don’t want to watch the show because I already read what happened.

It’s a vicious cycle people!

To be honest, I didn’t even actually think this was like a problem, problem until about 30 seconds ago.

My friend (@Dijea) Tweeted me that the movie Shutter Island  is based on a book. My first reaction was to Google the book. A normal person would do this so they could buy it.

I did not.

I did it so I could find a summery of the book – complete with ending – and therefore not have to read the ACTUAL book. My habit of “reading to avoid watching” has now mutated into a habit where I “read to avoid reading!”

I blame Twitter.

And my Blackberry.

And Wikipedia.

They’ve morphed me into some sort of knowledge junkie. The more information I crave though, the less time I have to learn things the old-fashioned way (living), so instead, I just scour for tidbits everywhere.

Plus, I mean, holy crap, who the heck has an extra 30 minutes of their life to give up in the name of “Cougar Town” when it’s just easy to read how “Bobby and Andy [horrified] Grayson with their keg-pumping routine, and Andy [woke] up in can jail and Grayson discovered “Seacrest Out” written on his torso.?”

Sure, none of that really makes much sense to me, seeing as how I’ve only watched about three solid episodes. But it reads funny enough. And I just keep coming back for more.

I can’t stop myself.

I do however, somehow find the time to watch “Say Yes to the Dress” on TLC every week, even though I am currently more single than a solitaire player.

WAIT!

HOLY CRAP!

I just realized I’m living vicariously through THAT show.

Frick.

I need to get a life.

Or at least get rid of my computer/blackberry/internet.

And maybe TLC, just to be safe.