why i hate social eating (and by extension America)

so we had this thing called a “griller” at work today. for all you normal people out there, “griller” actually means “cook-out.” Although, i guess this wasn’t “out” because it was like 32 degrees “out”side, and we had to have it in an old warehouse.

i know. fun. times.

well, all freaking week everyone at work was all “DON’T WORRY! we got YOU special vegan burgers for our griller!”

and i was all “yay.” only i wasn’t being sarcastic. i REALLY was excited about this stupid vegan burger.

but THEN! ohhhhh. snap.

i got downstairs and all the vegan burgers were taken. and when i found that there were no vegan burgers left, i cried on the inside. (and shed a tear on the outside).

AND! seeing as how I’m the only vegan and one of like three vegetarians at my job, im pretty sure MINE was taken by a stupid meat-eater.

a very stupid meat-eater. and whoever it was, i now hate them. seriously. hate.

and THEN! i accidentally ate some damn powdered cheese on a potato chip. although, i’m told that said “powdered cheese” is so far from real cheese that it doesn’t count.

to top everything off, some stupid meat-eater was all “oh, you can’t eat anything? don’t you think it would be healthier to have a piece of chicken instead of that pepsi you’re drinking?”

hey idiot! i WAS going to be healthy with a vegan burger, until some stupid meat eater like yourself ATE it!

BTW, i killed that guy.  (true story.)

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  1. Three blogs in one night. Wow. I think I liked the vocubulary story the best. Of course, I heard the griller story beforehand.
    Keep making us laugh!

  2. they only bought four. seriously. apparently nobody thought there just MIGHT be a need for extra. i mean who eats those things anyway? right?

  3. I feel for you, but I also thank you for teaching me a new social buzzword. This inspires me to host my own vegan “griller” with friends and family.

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