why i hate social eating (and by extension America)

so we had this thing called a “griller” at work today. for all you normal people out there, “griller” actually means “cook-out.” Although, i guess this wasn’t “out” because it was like 32 degrees “out”side, and we had to have it in an old warehouse.

i know. fun. times.

well, all freaking week everyone at work was all “DON’T WORRY! we got YOU special vegan burgers for our griller!”

and i was all “yay.” only i wasn’t being sarcastic. i REALLY was excited about this stupid vegan burger.

but THEN! ohhhhh. snap.

i got downstairs and all the vegan burgers were taken. and when i found that there were no vegan burgers left, i cried on the inside. (and shed a tear on the outside).

AND! seeing as how I’m the only vegan and one of like three vegetarians at my job, im pretty sure MINE was taken by a stupid meat-eater.

a very stupid meat-eater. and whoever it was, i now hate them. seriously. hate.

and THEN! i accidentally ate some damn powdered cheese on a potato chip. although, i’m told that said “powdered cheese” is so far from real cheese that it doesn’t count.

to top everything off, some stupid meat-eater was all “oh, you can’t eat anything? don’t you think it would be healthier to have a piece of chicken instead of that pepsi you’re drinking?”

hey idiot! i WAS going to be healthy with a vegan burger, until some stupid meat eater like yourself ATE it!

BTW, i killed that guy.  (true story.)

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Comments (0)

  1. Mandy

    That did suck for you.

  2. tom loewy

    Three blogs in one night. Wow. I think I liked the vocubulary story the best. Of course, I heard the griller story beforehand.
    Keep making us laugh!

  3. scvegan

    Did they only buy three vegan burgers?

  4. crystalsuelindell

    they only bought four. seriously. apparently nobody thought there just MIGHT be a need for extra. i mean who eats those things anyway? right?

  5. scvegan

    I feel for you, but I also thank you for teaching me a new social buzzword. This inspires me to host my own vegan “griller” with friends and family.


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