i kinda feel responsible for their souls

i’d say the best activity of the morning was a game called “truth, truth, lie.” so basically i had them breaking a commandment during the freaking ice breaker.

bible sigh.

being a church youth group leader is hard.

seriously. i feel pressure.


pretty sure the college guy helping me out noticed i was stressed after i explained my planned activities for our first meeting today in a fast-pitch, no-breath-between-sentences-kinda-way.

it was either that or the fact that my hands were shaking.

could have either or i guess.

this whole situation is the kind of thing that could totally blow up in my face when i meet my maker.

him: crystal, your activities were boring, you had my children lying within 20 minutes, and you didn’t even give out candy for anything.

me: frick.

i spent all last year learning the ropes, but now the former leaders have stepped down leaving me in control.




i really, really, really, really want to be good at this seeing as how its for GOD and all.

my plan right now is basically, “try really hard to not suck.” (can youth group leaders say suck?) (i have so much to learn).

… For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

– Jeremiah 29:11

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summer 2009 = lame.

so umm, basically it now gets dark at 3 p.m., it’s negative 8 outside and IT’S STILL AUGUST.

where the heck did the summer go? it was 110º for about 4 seconds that one time I went to great america, and then BAM fall.


this is crap.

if we don’t get an indian summer im going to be fricking mad wait. is that term somehow offense? sorry.

ok. how about “if we don’t get some more summer im going to be fricking mad.”

its just that im not ready to do stupid things like workout indoors, wear shoes that don’t flip when i flop, or worse scrape snow off my car.


i know. i shouldn’t even be mentioning such an awful thing. but i wouldn’t be surprised if i we start seeing flakes like next week guys.

in conclusion, im officially requesting a summer-refund. I take checks, cash or paypal and expect ful payment of missed sunshine by Monday.

thanks in advace.

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the shyte my brother and i go through / i rode the dare devil dive

if you’re going to go around picturing my little brother, just take everything you know about me and then move to opposite land (it’s right next to Colbert Nation).

don’t misunderstand, i love him deep-down crazy style. we come from the same twisted homelife, and he’s one of just a few people in the world who can ever know my very core.

but because we are not alike in any practical way, we’ve been through some shyte.

some throwdown, knock down, crying, yelling, I HATE YOU AND HOPE YOU DIE! shyte. the kind of shyte only a brother and sister can experience. and even then, only if they love each other. the kind of shyte that’s led us to not talk for umm, oh, i’d say about the last two years.

except of course, at great america.

at great america, we’re the same.

we ride in the front seat of vertical velocity. we pressure people into going on rides even if they’d rather live in a freezer for seven days than experience them. we even hate the same people – those stupid losers who use the flash pass to cut in line.

and because really, i love him deep-down crazy style, i eat it up.

so when he started suggesting i go on the dare devil dive with him yesterday, i didn’t say a firm NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like i normally would.

instead, i considered it.

the ride is basically a drop to your death that stops just short of landing you in a casket.

i’d say, about six inches short.

you hook up to some wires and then, while linking arms with your partner, are jerked up about 10 stories high. after a quick confirmation from the people safely on the ground telling you it’s time to FLYYYY!!, you have to pull the rip cord so you can drop to the cement.

did you hear me?


scariest. thing. eva.

let’s be honest, my brother was in charge of that crap. if it were up to me, i’d just make a nice little house up there complete with a loofah and live in it forever because WHY WOULD I FLING MY OWNSELF TO DEATH?

my brother is the kind of guy who’s never scared. the kind of guy who talks casually while in the front seat of a coaster that shoots you toward the sky at 100 mph in less than 2 seconds. the kind of guy who the signs reading “PLEASE STAY SEATED ON THIS RIDE” are meant for.

but on this ride. he was scared. actually, he was terrified.

and so, he was terrified. and i was terrified. and for this moment, we were exactly the same.

while looking down at the cement they had lifted us over, building up to the official “rip cord moment” we examined the little tiny trees,  held our breath and tried not to pee right there from 150 feet above the ground.

then, he said to me “why the (swear word) do i have to be the one to pull the (swearing word) rip cord?!” with a panic in his voice i didn’t know was possible.

two seconds after that, he pulled the cord.

and two seconds after THAT the worst was over.

we had done it.

holy fricking crap.

we had just fallen to near death and lived to talk about it.




the two of us flew back and forth for a few minutes, and each of realized then that we really COULD do anything in life we wanted to.

and i finally felt at peace with him again.

nobody else we know has done that. nobody else we’re related too can understand that moment.

just him. and me.

and in this way, we are again, exactly the same.

i’d say it was totally worth it.

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