weather – The only certainty is bad grammar

Ohmyfreakingfrick! PLEASE STOP RAINING!

October 22, 2009 Crystal humor, medium

Ok. I know. We had that wonderful lovely day of gorgeous sunshine and smiles and butterflies yesterday.

And I appreciated it. I walked four miles. I took multiple breathes of fresh air. I lolly-gagged in the happiness of it all.

But it’s already raining again!

For real.

It makes me sad.

and sad.

I want to cry because it is so dreary outside that even happy puppies are brought to tears. I think stupid things like “life does suck. I mean, how could I ever be happy when it’s so GRAY outside? HOW???!!!!” And I don’t know how anyone, anywhere manages to keep the bottoms of their pants dry with all this freaking water.

Also, it makes me paranoid that I will catch swine flu.

That’s how you catch swine flu right? Walking in puddles? Well, anyway, that’s my understanding of the situation.

In conclusion, I’m officially submitting my vote for sunny skies tomorrow. And since I live in Chicagoland, I’d like to vote early and often.

Also, does anyone know a weatherperson I can bribe. Because I have $100 $10 $1 with Tom Skilling’s name on it.

[insert cliche rain quote here]

Published: September 22, 2009 / Updated: September 22, 2009 Crystal exercise, humor, medium

Today while I was walking my daily three miles it randomly started pouring at about mile 2.3.

Alas, I was .7 miles from my car, so I just kept on keeping on.

And I was so stupid about the whole thing that I was even singing Jo Dee Messina’s “Bring on the Rain” in my head as I did it.

Then, I was enjoying the nature of it all so much, that I did my regular stretching/calf work-out routine at the end – complete with buckets of water being dropped on my head.

Now, I’m super worried I’m going to get sick.

My immune system is weaker than a meth addicts’ will power PLUS tomorrow is my day off. The odds are not good.

Actually, I’m not really sure if the whole “get out of the rain or you’ll get sick” thing is even real. I seem to remember a Dateline or 20/20 back in the day explaining to me that it was all a bunch of crap. But I can’t remember if it was that, or the “get out of the cold or you’ll get sick” thing. Or both.

I washed my hands about 17 times today to be safe, and that doesn’t even count all the times I splattered purell on them.

Frick, I think I feel achy.

vitamin c sigh.

life is hard.

summer 2009 = lame.

August 29, 2009 Crystal humor, short, snow sucks

so umm, basically it now gets dark at 3 p.m., it’s negative 8 outside and IT’S STILL AUGUST.

where the heck did the summer go? it was 110º for about 4 seconds that one time I went to great america, and then BAM fall.

seriously.

this is crap.

if we don’t get an indian summer im going to be fricking mad wait. is that term somehow offense? sorry.

ok. how about “if we don’t get some more summer im going to be fricking mad.”

its just that im not ready to do stupid things like workout indoors, wear shoes that don’t flip when i flop, or worse scrape snow off my car.

GASP!

i know. i shouldn’t even be mentioning such an awful thing. but i wouldn’t be surprised if i we start seeing flakes like next week guys.

in conclusion, im officially requesting a summer-refund. I take checks, cash or paypal and expect ful payment of missed sunshine by Monday.

thanks in advace.