an ode to taco bell hot sauce packets (because i have an unhealthy love for them)

hot. hot. hot.

So ever since i became a vegan, i seriously cannot get enough taco bell hot sauce. im thinking it’s because my taste buds totally changed after i gave up cheese (that really does read like a realistic reason, doesn’t it? probably because it’s TOTALLY plausible).

ok. ok. i don’t ACTUALLY eat the hot sauce. i actually eat the mild sauce. what? i’m from the d*mn mid-west. im SENSITIVE to spicy foods — regardless of my cheese-less diet.

even with my mild-sauce status, i’m feeling pretty proud of myself lately. I can now officially eat like THREE mild sauce packets on ONE burrito. THREE PACKETS PEOPLE!

by this time next week i’ll probably be drinking the stuff straight up. i might even start keeping a random bottle of hot sauce on my desk like my co-worker randomly does. (true story.) (no. really. true story. what? she’s just a HOT girl.)

also, taco bell hot mild sauce is cool because it totally comes with really cool quotes. I’m just going to say it right here, right now — if a guy ever seriously wanted to marry me and he gave me a taco bell hot sauce packet that said “will you marry me?” i would probably totally say yes.

other cool sayings include:

make a wish

Tah Dah!

Ahhh…we meet again.

At night the sporks pick on me

Will you scratch my back?

This space for rent. Inquire within.

SEE how funny the people who write sayings on taco bell hot sauce packets are? shucks, they’re almost as funny me. (almost).

Also, taco bell mild sauce is really cool because it’s totally free and you can store extra packets in the little butter drawer in your fridge if you don’t eat butter. 

the mild sauce totally makes an average home-cooked meal GRRREAT! i.e. home -cooked burrito: eh. BUT! home-cooked burrito with taco bell mild sauce? GRRREAT!

In conclusion: i really, really love taco bell mild sauce. tune in next week for my ode to the seven-layer burrito.*

*note: this ode to the seven-layer burrito blog entry may or may not be a real thing.

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  1. i absolutely LOVE this post, because i thought i was the only one who was obsessed with taco bell mild sauce. i drink it by the packet, seriously. and since i never go to taco bell, being a vegan, my parents always save their mild sauce for me! so each time i visit them i get like, uh, literally 30 packets and drink them all within a few days. I LOVE THEM. glad i’m not alone.

  2. Yo, 7 layers burritos are not vegan, brosef. Last I checked they’ve got sour CREAM and CHEESE.

  3. Don’t panic. I order it without the sour cream and cheese. (I guess it’s technically a FIVE-layer burrito then, but whatever.)

  4. ehhh.. crazy vegans. The mild sauce is like a drug to you peeps.

    Just remember, I love animals too… they taste yummy with Taco Bell Hot sauce.

  5. I cant prove it w/o posting personal pics of myself and my fiance, but when I opened the ring box it was the “will you marry me” packet- my ring was on the dog’s collar. I loved it 🙂

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