Pretty sure it’s all downhill now that I’ve met Sedaris.

Published: October 18, 2009 / Updated: October 20, 2009 Crystal bears, exercise, god, humor, medium, random thoughts

Hey there.

I’m just chillin like a villain watching the stupid Bears lose.

(stupid. stupid bears). (“chillin like a villain” is totally still cool right?)

I went to church this morning. Youth group was fantabulous. While. Um. Other than the fact  that there’s a small chance someone (name withheld to protect the guilty) ate bad macaroni and cheese. He seemed fine though, so I’m sure it all worked out. or up.

Speaking of church, I’m super worried about swine flu. I’ve calculated that I shake an average of 87 hands per Sunday, which comes out to 5.7 billion million germs. I’m picturing a slow death with a high fever while I apply that hand sanitizer every seven-teen seconds.

Every. Seven-teen. Seconds.

(If I get sick I’m totally suing purell). (unless it causes me to reach my goal weight. Then I’d send a thank-you note). (true story).

I also walked four miles today. Hot frost, it’s getting cold out. Stupid deceptive sun tricks me into thinking I just need a sweatshirt. Five minutes later, my finger nails are purple and my nose is running. In conclusion, I need to join some sort of indoor work-out facility.

Either that, or buy a stairmaster-related DVD from Wal-mart.

(New life goal: Move somewhere with summer all year long).

Well, the Bears are still being stupid, but maybe if I start paying attention I can send them good vibes and they’ll come back in the last 15 seconds.

Wish me luck.

  • Share/Bookmark

Losing weight is overrated.

Published: October 7, 2009 / Updated: October 8, 2009 Crystal exercise, medium

I kind of, usually spend all my time thinking about how freaking awesome life could be if I just lost weight.

But I lost weight.

I lost 30 pounds.

And I’m still insecure. I’m still stressed out. I’m still crappy at dating.

I still don’t feel pretty.

Journalism is still dying. I still can’t find clothes I like. My “check engine” light is still on. I still make mistakes at work and with friends and at church. I still have to spend a hour getting ready in the morning. My car insurance rate is still $180 a month. I still miss my grandma Lindell more than my soul can bear. Health insurance still isn’t fixed. It’s still going to snow soon. I still have weak ankles.

The only actual changes all suck – I’m always hungry, and I have to work out everyday.

The “congrats”  don’t make me feel nearly as good as I thought they would.

The “you look really good” doesn’t have nearly the ring to it I thought it would.

The icky come on’s from guys I never was interested in the first place don’t make me any happier – although I’m not sure I ever thought they would.

Maybe I’m being too honest right now. Maybe I should tell you that I do know I should be trusting God, and living for him and whatnot. I should tell you that I do know I never should have thought losing weight would solve all my problems.

Don’t worry. I knew all that.

But I still think these things. I still feel this way.

So now you know.

I’m semi-sure some people wonder how the heck a girl who seems as un-stupid as myself could have these thoughts.

I’d guess it has something to do with Barbie, Heidi Klum and the Weight Watchers commercials.

But I’m just guessing.

It also could be that the whole world and their dog conspires to make losing weight seem like the coolest thing since Twitter, because if they didn’t nobody would ever do it because losing weight is harder the hardest thing ever.

Again though, I’m just guessing here.

  • Share/Bookmark

at least the Duchess of Windsor understands

September 23, 2009 Crystal exercise, humor, medium

Here’s the thing about losing weight – there’s always 10 more pounds.

Always.

I’ve lost close to 25 pounds (23) and it’s awesome.

I went shopping today, and got into sizes I haven’t seen since my gen-ed days in college.

I felt pretty, and confident, and fun.

I even looked nice in that sweater from the junior’s department.

True story.

But I still want to lose 10 more pounds.

And when I lose those 10 pounds, I’ll have another 10 to go.

Part of it’s the rush I get each time a pound drops off the digital scale.

It’s downright addictive.

I keep saying that when I reach such-and-such weight, I’ll be all open and honest on here and talk about the whole thing.

I’ll tell ya’ll about the reasons, and the emotional adjustments and I’ll even share those magic numbers – my start weight, and my end weight.

But then I put it off.

I just want to lose just 10 more pounds first.

After that though, I swear – you’ll get all the gory details.

“A woman can’t be too rich or too thin.”

– Wallis Simpson, Duchess of Windsor

  • Share/Bookmark