feminism? – Page 17 – The only certainty is bad grammar

God broke the Internet

Published: October 24, 2009 / Updated: October 24, 2009 Crystal feminism?, god, humor, medium

I’m pretty sure God broke the Internet today at my job.

Don’t tell my co-worker because she’d totally be p*ssed if she knew that’s what happened. I mean it f*ed up our day craptastically.

But, see, well, I was going to go to lunch the stupidest of stupid guys. A guy so stupid he doesn’t even deserve for me to mention him on my super amazing blog.

But God broke the Internet at my regular office, so I had to go work somewhere else and couldn’t meet him for said lunch.

The Big Guy was looking out.

See, I was doing so good on my own.

Like, not-texting-him, not-calling-him, not-even-thinking-about-him-during-most-of-the-sad-songs-on-the-country-radio-stations good.

But then I had this dream that I was searching and searching for him, and all I could get was a glimpse and well.

Ya.

It’s the kind of dream where you fall asleep thinking maybe your thoughts have finally found a peaceful place, and a couple hours later you wake up with a broken soul aching to see him.

I tried to fight it. I walked four miles. I thought happy thoughts. I even switched the radio every time a sad song came on.

But that kind of soul aching lingers. And it spreads. And before I knew it I couldn’t take it anymore and I sent him a text.

I knew he’d reply. He always replies. That’s why the only way this whole awful thing between us will ever die is if I do it myself.

But I can’t do it myself. I need help.

Tons.

So God went ahead and broke the Internet to lend a hand.

I guess he knew it’d be just what I needed to make it to the other side of today with a glimmer of hope that I can move past this.

Daily ramblings. (Like twitter, but longer).

Published: October 9, 2009 / Updated: October 9, 2009 Crystal anti-meat, feminism?, humor, im cool

I should be asleep right now, seeing as how I have to wake up in 6.75 hours.

I used to be a 9-hours a night kinda girl. Alas, not so much now.

It’s the stress man.

Seriously.

And some other things.

Lucky for you though, I use this time to blog. So we’ve got that going for us.

Let’s see. Well first, thanks for all the wishes of support after my last post. It was much appreciated.

I do want to note that I know I write very honest things on here, and sometimes they come off as dark. I think most people freak out about life though. Actually, I KNOW they do. I’m great at making friends, and all my friends always tell me how freaked the F out they are.

I just write it down.

And then post it for everyone and their pumpkin to see.

I understand the consequences, and I’m cool with it. But like I said, thanks for the wishes of support.

Speaking of nothing, (as my dear blog-friend Krista would say) (speaking of Krista, that girl hasn’t posted in a hot minute) I’m pretty sure my roommate tricked me into a down comforter.

Being a vegetarian and all, I usually frown on such things. But when she offered me the best blanket eva in all the land (no doubt so we could keep heating costs down for a change) she assured me it was fake.

I’m here to tell you, I’ve had fake down – this is not that.

This is amazing.

This is envelop you with love wrapped in hugs and smiles while sprinkling fairy dust in your dreams good. In the interest of warmth though, my current plan is to continue pretending it’s fake.

(Don’t tell PETA).

Moving along, I had a fight with a guy last night.

Not really a fight. More a “this is never going to work is it.”

I know. I know. You’re thinking “Crystal? You were dating someone?! What?”

I just like to keep those things on the down low. You understand. Maybe it’s because I knew this particular thing could never work.

Irregardless, I feel like someone went inside my chest and lopped off a piece of my bleeding red heart.

Just took it. Just like that.

And now it’s gone, and my heart will be stronger because of it in the end.

But today sucked. Today I felt sad and lost and lopsided.

And of course it rained today. The kind of rain that lasts for hours and makes you cry when you get a second to yourself in the car.

Of course.

But it’s 12:09 now.

Which means it’s been Friday for nearly 10 minutes and it’s time to start a fantabulous weekend slated to include old friends, pizza and a corn maze.

It’s time to start healing my heart.

maybe my singleness IS my fault

Published: October 6, 2009 / Updated: October 6, 2009 Crystal feminism?, humor, short

OK. I’m on a dating site. (Again).

And I mostly just ignore 90 percent of the weird guys who try to contact me on said site.

But every once in a while a boy with decent grammar, witty comments and normal-looking pictures comes across my screen, and I give it a go.

I’ve been talking to this one guy for a few day now, and he seems to pass the “NOT CRAZY” test.

And today, he was all “let’s get a drink”

Except, I just realized, while sitting in front of my laptop at 11:45 p.m. after just getting home from work, that my schedule is as follows:

Wednesday: work during the day. youth group planning, work out and see a friend at night.

Thursday: youth group stuff and workout in the morning. work at night.

Friday: work during the day. go to the city at night to hang out with old grad school friends.

Saturday: come back from the city in the morning. take youth group to corn maze at night.

Sunday: church/youth group in the morning. workout in the afternoon, rest at night.

and then Monday, it’s back to work.

Doesn’t leave much time for hot dates does it?