youth group leader’s oath

October 4, 2009 Crystal god, humor, medium

I promise to:

never, ever take a student for granted.

always have a back-up plan and a back-up can of whip cream.

have every student’s phone number in my cell phone.

never judge a student by their appearance, age, or parents.

pray for every student, every night.

pray for me every night.

Facebook stalk all the youth with messages, pokes and wall postings.

order pizza at least once a month.

remember how awful it can be to be a teenager.

remember how awesome it can be to be a teenager.

always get to events at least 10 minutes early.

keep the parents informed, but not too informed.

try as hard as I can with every student, every time.

ask for help.

always put God first.

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Hi! I’m up. Are you? Oh, and Monday night football is going to be CRAZY!

October 1, 2009 Crystal bears, humor, medium

It’s 6 a.m. and I’m awake on my day off for no reason.

There’s obviously some issues there I need to work out.

Apparently the people who run TV world don’t give a crap about people like me though, because aside from annoying morning shows, the only choices I seem to have are infomercials, Baptist preachers and a 1959 release of Hercules on AMC.

I’m currently contemplating the Bose sound system. Do you understand how amazing their sound quality is? I do.

Moving on, let’s talking about football, shall we?

So, the Vikings are hosting the Packers Monday night.

Aw.kward.

I wonder what Brett Favre is doing right now? Oh. That’s right. He’s rolling around in piles of money not giving a crap that everyone in Green Bay hates him. Duh.

Did you see this crazy play he made last week? That’s the kind of thing that makes me think he has some sort of deal with the devil involving his arm, the Super Bowl and cheese.

In case you missed it:

If I were a San Fransisco fan, I’d be fuming!

There would be smoke signals coming out of my head, and red and orange flames and possibly fireworks, depending on Minneapolis laws on those types of things.

I’m pretty sure if he pulls some crap like that against Green Bay, Packer fans will immediately get in their cars trucks, drive to Minnessota and kill him. Have you ever MET a Packer fan? I have. They are a crazy for two things – football and foam cheese.

Speaking of football, I interviewed a 100-year old woman yesterday. She  got a Bears jersey for her B-day last weekend with the number 100 on it, and she was AMAZING! Read my story here, and watch the video here.

My new goal is to live to 100 and get one of those jerseys.

Also, to sleep past 6 a.m. on my day off.

Pretty sure the latter will be easier.

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at least the Duchess of Windsor understands

September 23, 2009 Crystal exercise, humor, medium

Here’s the thing about losing weight – there’s always 10 more pounds.

Always.

I’ve lost close to 25 pounds (23) and it’s awesome.

I went shopping today, and got into sizes I haven’t seen since my gen-ed days in college.

I felt pretty, and confident, and fun.

I even looked nice in that sweater from the junior’s department.

True story.

But I still want to lose 10 more pounds.

And when I lose those 10 pounds, I’ll have another 10 to go.

Part of it’s the rush I get each time a pound drops off the digital scale.

It’s downright addictive.

I keep saying that when I reach such-and-such weight, I’ll be all open and honest on here and talk about the whole thing.

I’ll tell ya’ll about the reasons, and the emotional adjustments and I’ll even share those magic numbers – my start weight, and my end weight.

But then I put it off.

I just want to lose just 10 more pounds first.

After that though, I swear – you’ll get all the gory details.

“A woman can’t be too rich or too thin.”

– Wallis Simpson, Duchess of Windsor

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