random thoughts – Page 7 – The only certainty is bad grammar

monday. monday. (and also sunday night).

Published: August 17, 2009 / Updated: August 17, 2009 Crystal humor, medium, random thoughts, sh*tty things that happen to me

a couple lame things happened to me, so let’s share shall we?

first, last night i was backing out of my garage at 10:03 p.m. to go to wal-mart because even though i was supa tried, i had no deodorant and was thinking maybe the people i’d see at work wouldn’t be cool with that and also, that maybe there would be a crazy fire or accident or flood or something and i would have to cover it and my soulmate would be there in uniform and then he would want to ask me out when he saw me from afar, but then he’d change his mind when he got up close because i smelled like icky stuff mixed with gross things. and then BAM!

i hit the freaking passenger side mirror off my car by running into the garage wall.

what the frick?! i was going like three miles an hour. don’t car parts typically have a little more fight in them?

plus, come on, we all know im never going to pay to get that crap fixed.

alas, because i still needed deodorant, my roommate and i re-installed it with some packaging tape and off i went in my newly ghetto car.

then today, i went to work at my little bureau office where i was going to enjoy a day of solitude and BAM!.

my key got stuck in the door at work.

it’s a problem that doesn’t even sound like it should be a real problem.

apparently this happens though. keys just go into doors and never come out. they meet someone special or something among all those nuts and bolts and it’s over. you never get to lock your door again. it’s right there next to “bushes spontaneously combusting” on the master list of problems people have.

the three nice men who work nearby all looked at me like i was a bat-sh*t nuts when i asked for help and their eyes said “cute little girl, are you too weak to pull a key out of a door? ha. ha. ha. let me help.”

about five seconds after that each realized i was actually pretty awesome/sane, and that my key was, in fact, stuck in the lock and their eyes changed to say “woah. this key IS stuck in the lock.”

minutes before committing to unscrewing the lock, a miracle tube of de-icer appeared from one of the men and they were able to lube it up enough to pull it out. (that’s what she said).

and off i went.

the good news is, i totally got to wear a pretty new fuschia jacket today that my mom got me for my birthday (which is sunday). and, mad men is back in my life and as awesome as ever, AND a really cute guy sent me a message on facebook.

as a result, im going to go ahead and put the last 24 hours in the win category.

a little of this. a little of that. / money, colds, site design.

Published: August 1, 2009 / Updated: August 1, 2009 Crystal humor, long, random thoughts

well, obviously, i made it through the week with just $5.47. YAY. im still alive. phew. (thanks in no small part to the mini-“loan” from this super awesome girl i know, and the “gifts” from my mom). (thanks guys).

i also got sick. which seems to be the new norm for me. and you all haters out there can’t even go about blaming the vegan thing because i’ve been regularly eating cheese and eggs for a few weeks a month two months now.

so ha.

ish.

anyway, it started with a sore throat and has since taken over my sense of smell as well as my ability to breathe. im guessing it’s because I got super tired after swimming around in a water park all day wednesday. that’s how easy it is this day for my immune system to just give up and say “eh. these germs are pretty tough. all right. fine, come on in guys. it’s cool. crystal didn’t really have any plans for her day off anyway.”

im telling you, this is why i could never run for president.

if it wasn’t for my sleep addiction, i’d totally be fixing health care and dealing with racial issues in america with beer right now guys. seriously.

but no, as soon as i miss one night of slumber, im downing dayquil and slabbing on the vicks.

speaking of nothing, i redesinged my little plot of cyberspace.*

typically, i like more white space, but i decided to go with something different this time. other than the fact that i like the colors and the flowers and the paper clip, i think the notebook paper emphasizes that this is a personal blog. (sometimes people saw the url and the raspberries and assumed this was a food blog).(im looking at you GoDaddy help center man).

i also like the paragraph spacing a lot more and that people’s avatar’s show up in the comment section now. (note: if you do not have a WordPress avatar, a little monster will show up. fun times).

i did have to sacrifice my old twitter widget and go with a more mellow box, because i just couldn’t figure out how to squish the old one onto that side bar. Also, i still have to mess with the pictures at the very, very bottom on the site via Flicker, but other than that, im content.

and of course, as usual, if you hate it, please keep your comments to yourself for awhile. otherwise they will drive me nuts, keep me awake at night and make me rue the day i met you.

*yes im still using that word. and i bet if you read the only daily newspaper published in McHenry County early next week, you’ll see it in that professional publication at least once as well. just sayin.

star trek, radio stations and crystal light

Published: May 21, 2009 / Updated: May 21, 2009 Crystal humor, im cool, medium, random thoughts

so, sometimes, after i write ALL DAY for my real job where i make real some a little money, it is super hard to come here and slave over a computer for you people my awesome readers. but i make time because i love you. and even though i have exactly 27 minutes before i have to hop in the shower and go off to another long day at the office, im here. writing for you. right now.

so, yes, yes, i saw star trek. and it rocked. and i went with a super duper star trek geek fan (who’s also cute. i know. weird) so he was able to explain everything to me. which was good, seeing as how there’s a thing at the end with the guy and the other guy that i totally DID NOT understand until he spent about 15 minutes explaining it to me afterward. but i get it now. i swear.

i would definitely recommend this movie to everyone and their mother, and their dog. it’s pretty fun. i mean, it was no “sex and the city” but watching all those magical special effects and pretty space ships on a big screen was worth the $9 for sure.

speaking of the number 9, does anyone else in chicagoland get confused by radio station phone numbers? i mean, there are like 74 area codes in a three-block radius of my house, but the stations just give out seven-digits. all “591-9696,” or “591-US99.”

i want to win rascal flatts tickets too guys. do i need to dial 312 for chicago? or will my 630 cell phone area code work? i don’t understand. how do i get through? and why don’t they have a freaking 800 number, which would just clear all this up?

how am i supposed to win, if can’t figure out how to call them?!

sigh.

anywho, on to more exciting things. like the fact that Crystal Light is advertising on my blog. GUYS! MY NAME IS CRYSTAL! and their name is Crystal too!! how cool is that? im not gong to lie, i have bought crap tons of products because the word crystal was used on the package. crystal sprinkles, crystal clean toothpaste, crystal mint gum. it’s the least i can do seeing as how these companies named their stuff after ME!

what’s that? you don’t think it’s exciting? well how would you feel if there was [insert your name here] shower gel, or [insert your name here] nikes. you know you would run out and buy them right this second

and don’t even get me started on the fact that i work in the city of CRYSTAL lake. i know. fate right? the only thing cooler would be if my name were Jesus (hey-zeus). those guys rock.