random thoughts – Page 6 – The only certainty is bad grammar

RANDOM: Apture, jazzercise, da Bears

Published: November 10, 2009 / Updated: November 10, 2009 Crystal bears, exercise, humor, im cool, long, random thoughts, Wow

You may have noticed a new, supa cool thing on my Web site. It’s called Apture, and it’s the little icons next to all my links.

It makes it so you don’t have to actually click the link, but instead can just roll over the word and the information will appear. Like internet magic.

It also let’s me put related content in the same link, under the main picture. So when I write about, say, Johnny Depp, I can include a link to his bio, and then like five of his pictures underneath that you can click on. Fun times.

Also, Jazzercise is kicking my butt. And it’s making want carbs crazy style.

I usually stick to about 1,000 calories a day. Fine. 800. (Don’t judge me. Losing weight is hard).

But now, I’m hunting through my empty shelf in the fridge like I there’s a winning lottery ticket in there. I haven’t quite figured out how to deal with this, but I’m hoping I’ll get more used to the workout from heck in the next week or so.

Speaking of not eating. Shopping is crazy fun since I’ve lost weight. Crazy expensive, but still crazy fun. None of my old clothes even stay up with a belt, so I’ve had to buy some new classic pieces. I don’t want to buy too much because I’m still hoping to lose 25 more pounds, but it’s not like I can just wear baggy pants everyday with shirts down to my knees right?

So I got this crazy amazing black fitted blazer from the Banana Republic outlet store Sunday. The already discounted outlet price of $80 was slashed down to $40. I’m just lucky like that I guess.

How many days a week do you think I can wear it? I’m shooting for five. Fine. Seven.

Also, what is UP with the stupid bears? Seriously. I don’t even know what to say anymore. At first, after the Packers game, I was all, “It’s cool. We can get past this. Jay Cutler was just nervous.”

But then, my heart just started to hurt and I felt a little guilty for being so hard on Cutler.

Eventually though, I just got p*ssed. I mean seriously Lovie, get your crap together, right? Why is he even our freaking coach? And why does our offensive line suck so bad? They make tons of money, the least they can do is pretend to care.

After that, I was just sad. Lonely. I started to fully realize how bad the team is. This was right around the time I started hating the Bengals.

By the next week, I started to realize that I didn’t NEED to watch every second, of every game. Not only could I multi-task during the first half, I could just skip huge chunks of it to go shopping. I felt like I was gaining organization in my life.

Then, I realized that the best way to deal with this whole mess of team this year was to not take things too seriously. And finally, I accepted the fact that Bears will not be going to the playoffs this year.

It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Well, actually, Jazzercise makes if feel like there’s weights on my shoulders all day. But you get the point.

Pretty sure it’s all downhill now that I’ve met Sedaris.

Published: October 18, 2009 / Updated: October 20, 2009 Crystal bears, exercise, god, humor, medium, random thoughts

Hey there.

I’m just chillin like a villain watching the stupid Bears lose.

(stupid. stupid bears). (“chillin like a villain” is totally still cool right?)

I went to church this morning. Youth group was fantabulous. While. Um. Other than the fact that there’s a small chance someone (name withheld to protect the guilty) ate bad macaroni and cheese. He seemed fine though, so I’m sure it all worked out. or up.

Speaking of church, I’m super worried about swine flu. I’ve calculated that I shake an average of 87 hands per Sunday, which comes out to 5.7 billion million germs. I’m picturing a slow death with a high fever while I apply that hand sanitizer every seven-teen seconds.

Every. Seven-teen. Seconds.

(If I get sick I’m totally suing purell). (unless it causes me to reach my goal weight. Then I’d send a thank-you note). (true story).

I also walked four miles today. Hot frost, it’s getting cold out. Stupid deceptive sun tricks me into thinking I just need a sweatshirt. Five minutes later, my finger nails are purple and my nose is running. In conclusion, I need to join some sort of indoor work-out facility.

Either that, or buy a stairmaster-related DVD from Wal-mart.

(New life goal: Move somewhere with summer all year long).

Well, the Bears are still being stupid, but maybe if I start paying attention I can send them good vibes and they’ll come back in the last 15 seconds.

Wish me luck.

random thoughts. version 2.8.4 / yogurt, boys and God

Published: September 5, 2009 / Updated: September 5, 2009 Crystal humor, im cool, medium, random thoughts

• last night i forgot to take out my contacts because i was tired. then, while reading about jay leno in Time, i rubbed my eye. then i was all, ‘why is everything all blurry now?’ and i rubbed my eye some more. then i remembered the stupid contacts. there’s about a 3 percent chance that one currently is lodged behind my right eyeball.

• I’ve been freaking out less and less about this whole youth group leadership thing. i feel like i’ve got a pretty good support system in place. and yesterday i found faith foam stickers at Meijer -a clear (ish) sign that this is what God wants me to be doing.

• i’ve lost 18 pounds since Aug. 1. and that’s no rounding, or estimating or anything. it’s a genuine 18 pounds. according to a real digital scale. only two people have noticed (one was my grandma). what the crap does a girl gotta do to get a “you like nice” around here?

• the only reason i eat yogurt is that the show burn notice makes it look so cool.

• i really hope all the episodes of flip this house on TLC were filmed like three years ago. because anything else would just be too depressing for home improvement television on a saturday morning.

• my blog should be loading supa dupa fast now. it’s on a amazing new server via GoDaddy and it’s set-up especially for wordpress blogs (or so im told). ive noticed a difference and i hope you do too because i still love my site design, and i was thinking i would have to change it to make things load better.

• speaking of blogs, i’ve been using a new search engine optimization program. i kind of think SEO is a bunch of voodoo magic, but i hope it works anyway.

• i really hate when people leave snide messages on facebook in response to my status updates. you may think you sound funny, but it doesn’t read funny. it reads mean. and do you people have nothing better to do with your time than leave me snide remarks so you can feel superior?

• one time I made out with a guy during my junior year of college and then i never talked to him again. ever. my junior year of college was in 2004. he still calls me. like once every few months. i have never ever even returned a phone call. that’s weird right?