i still heart johnny depp (like you didn’t already know that)

Well, in case you guys were getting worried that I was getting over my crush on johnny depp — im here to set the record straight. I still love him.

You might be thinking to yourself ‘self, she can’t actually be in LOVE with him. she hardly knows him!’

but I’m here to tell you that I have seen six of his movies over the past three weeks and I’m pretty certian that he and I are soul mates.

Well, no,  he doesn’t know yet.


soul mates have a way of finding each other. (duh)

and i have faith in that whole process, so I’ll probably get to marry him one day.  (you can come to wedding, but I’m warning you now, it’s going to be all vegan food).

In case you TOO were thinking of watching a bunch of Johnny Depp movies (because he’s AWESOME) I thought I’d offer some of my thoughts on the ones I’ve recently seen (note: all thoughts basically are just about Johnny Depp and have little to do with the movies themselves.)  I’m not going to link to all the titles, because that’s just annoying. If you want more information on any of the movies just search the freaking title here.

ED WOOD: Funny. and Johnny Depp is in 99.8 percent of the scenes so that’s way cool. He doesn’t look particularly hot in this one and he talks in an old-timey hollywood accent, and he wears women’s clothing in a few scenes, but i DO love him — so i watched the whole thing. Also, the movie actually is super funny, if you’re in that sort of thing.

DONNIE BRASCO: Umm, Johnny Depp as a cop/bad guy — what the heck more could a girl ask for? He’s got a little meat on his bones in this film, but he doesn’t look fat or anything. Actually, he just looks like he’d probably look if he ate in real life on a regular basis. Also, the love scene between him and Anne Heche on the stairs is really um… cool.   

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3: Well, i guess only watch this movie under three conditions. 1. you have it on DVD and you are just going skip to his scenes. 2. You saw movie one and movie two in this franchise and you just HAVE to know how the heck the guy dating Kira Knightly gets his father off that boat. or 3. You randomly have the chance to see Johnny Depp, and the only catch is that he wants to watch THIS movie with you.

FINDING NEVERLAND: Again, Johnny Depp is like 99.8 percent of the scenes — so that’s hot. The story is nice, but predictable. And if you’re looking for a Johnny Depp movie that’s fun for the whole family I’d definitely recommend this over Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

BLOW: *loving sigh*  seriously, i freaking love this movie. Sometimes, when I’m sitting at home watching CNN or TLC or MTV, I’ll just randomly think about this movie. If this movie were a CD, i’d have it on in my car all. the. time. Johnny Depp looks way hot in it and there’s just something about a guy selling drugs that no girl can resist. (and by no girl, i pretty much just mean me). The blond hair is kind of jarring, but the Boston accent is way cool. This movie gets bonus points because Ray Liotta is in it and i kind of have a secret crush on him dating back to my “I’m obsessed with Field of Dreams” stage.

CHOCOLAT: Ya, so he’s only in this movie for like 15 minutes. And yes, it IS the MOST amazing 15 minutes ev-a because he looks way hot, and he talks with a sexy Irish accent, BUT if you watch this movie just to see Johnny Depp you’ll be pretty disappointed.

ok. ok. so NOW you might be thinking to yourself ‘YES! Crystal finally freaking watched all six of the johnny depp movies she bought, and now we can go back to a regular crystal blog.’


you’re wrong.

see, my co-worker JBo (like JLo, but for a boy) took it upon himself to lend me FOUR MORE Johnny Depp movies. They include: Once upon a time in Mexico, Fear and loathing in Las Vegas, Sleepy Hollow and From Hell.

so be sure to stay tuned for more Johnny-Depp-related posts.

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  1. OK, so you’re funny. And now you review movies. And that’s freakin funny, too.
    And really good.
    Please do this more often. Movie freaks will flock to site.

  2. Crystal, the first pic in this post is for you. Thsat is JD’s butt on the right. Michael Mann’s on the left (but who cares, right?) We were thisclose to JDs butt.
    So even though I don’t know you, I totally was thinking of you during this moment in my life.

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