The only certainty is bad grammar – Page 195 – Too personal for the internet.

funny girls

May 18, 2008 Crystal im cool, medium

The other day I was hanging out with my super cool friend from Springfield (hi stephanie!).

I seriously had not seen her in like for. eva.

and as we were driving along in the car she was TOTALLY laughing at every. freaking. joke. i made.

i was thinking it’s because im so funny.

but then.

i noticed that nobody else in the car was laughing.

at any of my jokes.

so i was all “I’m glad stephanie thinks im funny,” and in my head i was thinking “THAT’S why we’re so close.”

but.

then she was all “oh, sometimes I just give you a sympathy laugh.”

frick.

i guess that’s because we’re friends on an even deeper level than i thought — i mean she obviously has my back.

also, im thinking it’s because i have a dry wit, and although other people find me HILARIOUS, they don’t feel the NEED to laugh out loud.

right?

forget swears, censor scary movie ads people!

May 13, 2008 Crystal im cool, medium

ok. so seriously, what the crap is up with super scary movies being advertised on my freaking TV?

right in the middle of a freaking Scrubs rerun on WGN?

(im going to link to the preview here, but seriously, do not watch it unless you want to be SCARED out of your mind).

The commercial clearly shows a young 20-something couple getting TERROR.IZED. by random people wearing scary masks.

I held my hands over my eyes during the ad, but i think there was even a section of the commercial where the victim says something like ‘why are you doing this to us?’ and the apparent murderer responds with ‘because you were home.’

umm, how freaking scary is that?

great. now i get to imagine random people in masks killing me tonight. and when i wonder why, i’ll just think ‘oh, it must have been because i was home, duh.’

umm, i’ll have you people know that it took me WEEKS to get up the courage to watch “from hell” and “the legend of sleepy hollow” because the dvd covers were mostly black and i therefore assumed they were scary (they weren’t). and both THOSE movies have JOHNNY DEPP in them. (who i love, in case you forgot.) so why the heck would any one, any where think i would want to see a preview for “The Strangers” on my safe little TV in my safe little bedroom during a safe little episode of scrubs?

These scary movie previews are ruining america. people like ME are losing precious sleep over these stupid previews and then when im cranky tomorrow, nobody will even CARE that im too scared to turn off my lights.

nobody.

will.

even.

care.

to the three of you who read this blog:

May 11, 2008 Crystal im cool, short

so sometimes i put a “more” link in my blog posts that takes you to, well, “more” of the post because i think they look really long on the home page. however, im getting some complaints that the link doesn’t work. or that it crashes computers.

and by “some complaints,” i mean, one guy told me this.

basically im just wondering if this happens to a lot of you guys or not. and then i will take such information into consideration when i want to use the “more” link in the future.

note: i may just ignore your comments on this though, because in the end it’s my blog and i can do what i want to.

ha.

remember, your opinion is important to me.