The only certainty is bad grammar

the other day, i saw an applebee’s commercial for some sort of bacon-beef-cheese concoction, and i turned to my roommate, and was all “do you think there’ll ever be a day when i can order a vegan burger with vegan bacon at applebees?” and she was all “no. but we should go to Herban Fare, the new restaurant in Woodstock. I hear they have vegan food.”

and we did.

and it rocked.

I ordered the:

Black bean & lentil pureed lentils and whole black bean, curry spices, served with pickled fennel and onions, on a multigrain roll

it didn’t taste like meat, so don’t go in expecting that, but it did taste d*mn good. it was full of flavor and totally filling.

i also got the onion soup minus the cheese topping, which is made with vegetable stock instead of beef stock, so it’s vegan. and my roommate got us some hummus to start out the meal, which was super flavorful.

for you carnivores out there, they do have tons of meat options, one of which my roommate ordered:

Tamarind-chili beef and pork, herbs and spices, with a tamarind chili sauce, and stone ground oats, oven roasted with smoked bacon, and white cheddar cheese

she said it was “really good.” and i believed her.

from an atmosphere standpoint, the owner was super approachable and said he used to be a raw vegan himself for a few years, but now just uses it to balance out his diet. as a result though, he was super accommodating, and totally understood my fears about eating out as a vegan. well, minus the part where came up to the table and was all “oh. sorry. don’t eat the hummus. it isn’t vegan.” and i was like WHAT?! and then he was all “i make it with bacon fat” and i was like OMG.OMG.OMG!!!! and then he was like “ha. just kidding.” and i was like, “ya, you probably shouldn’t joke about stuff like that.” 🙂

and then my phone rang with my new 24-ring tone, and the owner was all “are you a 24 fan too?!”  and i pretty much decided right then and there that i will now pray every night that this restaurant can triumph against the odds in this sucky economy.

in conclusion, anyone who comes to visit, should now expect to eat at least one meal here with me. just sayin.

all right folks. calm down. if this is your first experience with the word vegan, step away from the CNN Web site.

slowly :: slowly ::

ok. there. now we can have an intelligent conversation about the following headline, which has been running on the CNN.com

Vegan on FBI’s ‘Most Wanted Terrorists’ list

really? REALLY? what the crap?

one my twitter follows, foodeater, alerted me to the situation, with a tweet, and i immediately alerted my roommate with comments such as “I HATE CNN,” “CNN SUCKS!” and “WHY ARE PEOPLE SO STUPID?!”

here’s the issue: why do they have to identify the crazy person by his vegan status? if it were a story about a man burning down abortion clinics in the name of all things holy, would the headline have read “Christian on FBI’s ‘Most Wanted Terrorists’ list?” um no. it would not. and if it did, craploads of christians would undoubtedly raise their hands, point to CNN and ask, “what the frick?”

really though, this doesn’t make mad, so much as it makes me distressed. i spend all my hours trying to be cool and awesome and explaing to anyone who asks that veganism is not crazy, but actually just cool and awesome like myself. and that really, within the next few decades it may well move up a few notches on the “normal” scale.

but then, CNN comes along and is all: VEGAN = TERRORIST. and then millions of people around the interweb get the idea in their head that anyone crazy enough to “eat no meat or any other food containing animal products” will probably also be crazy enough to go around bombing things. and WAM!, vegan shoots way down to the bottom of the “normal” scale.

so yes, it makes me sad.

it’s not all bad news though. today i saw a vegan steak-like product at Whole Foods, so maybe that will convince a few more people that the whole plant-based diet is doable. what’s that? it doesn’t actually taste like steak? oh. ok. well, have you tried the fake chicken? because that stuff rocks!