January 2010 – Page 2 – The only certainty is bad grammar

I believe

January 22, 2010 Crystal bears, god, humor, random thoughts

I believe in God.

I believe in prayer.

I believe that when you kill an animal, it suffers. (Even if it tastes like bacon later).

I believe in Google Voice.

I believe in spell check and word counts and putting the period after the parenthesis.

I believe that it is fantabulous to create words.

I believe in journalism. (I don’t believe in the business model).

I believe in vitamins and hand sanitizer and Kleenex with lotion.

I believe in universal health care and a single-payer system.

I believe the world will not end in 2012.

I believe in going to church. (I don’t believe in a perfect church, but I don’t believe that’s the point).

I believe that when you twist a straw wrapper in half and the knot pulls through, someone you love is thinking about you.

I believe in life on other planets. (And I believe that to not, is narcissistic).

I believe tithing can be your money or your time.

I believe that people can change. (But I don’t believe it happens very often).

I believe in flossing daily and brushing your teeth at least twice a day.

I believe in giving someone the benefit of the doubt when they ask you for $5 on a street corner.

I believe in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt at least once.

I believe in beeswax for lip balm and that shaving cream really is better than plain soap for shaving.

I believe in wearing jeans to work as often as possible.

I believe in TIME magazine.

I believe that football and Great America have done just as much to bond my family as any of the dozens of tragedies we’ve endured, but with a much sweeter process.

I believe you can drive on spare tire for at least 300 miles before you really need to get it replaced.

I believe that oil change guidelines aren’t set in stone.

I believe in keeping jumper cables in your car.

I believe that I could live on Taco Bell.

I believe that getting my hair dyed and my eyebrows waxed are good investments.

I believe that 12 is young, and 30 is old.

I believe in the possibility that my beliefs will change.

I believe everyone should.

The cold virus monster

January 20, 2010 Crystal humor, sh*tty things that happen to me, short

I’ve been trying to run on approx. 4.5 hours of sleep a night because HOLY CRAP I HAVE CRAP-TONS TO DO!!!

Of course that doesn’t work. That’s NEVER worked. My body likes a solid seven hours a night. And when it doesn’t get it, it’s all “you suck” and then I get sick.

I’m sick.

Not like “bronchitis sick” or anything – although, incidentally, my mom has bronchitis. (Prayers welcome).

But ya, I’ve got that “sore throat, no sense of smell, achy, tired, craptastic” feeling.

It mostly just sucks.

And here I am trying to find a second job, because obviously I have so much extra time on my hands, right?

Yesterday, as the cold virus monster was landing on my chest, I was feeling really overwhelmed. Like this gigantic green awful being was sitting on my ribs, and I couldn’t fight back. Then, it just took over and knocked me out for 13 hours straight.

I slept from 8:30 p.m. until 9:30 a.m.

And for the next three hours after that I stared blankly at the TV.

I really just want to down some NyQuil and sleep for another 13 or 28 hours or so, but instead I’m going to hope that my shower magically fixes things and then I’ll head into work.

Being an adult sucks.

naps and coke are my favorite / I need a second job

Published: January 17, 2010 / Updated: January 20, 2010 Crystal humor, medium, random thoughts

Crap. Am I allowed to write about stupid crap yet on my blog or are we all still focused on Haiti?

Because I’m all about helping the Haitians. But my life is currently filled with stupid crap.

You guys won’t be all, “Crystal, how about you just be happy you have food at all and stop complaining out your stupid love affair with soda?” will you?

Speaking of. Coke is so delicious.

Soda. Pop. Brown stuff.

It’s de.freaking.liciousness in liquid form mixed with sprinkles of happiness.