Cherry pie FAIL

see. jayne from the church youth group would have seen this travesty coming from a mile way. when were gathered to make pies as part of the mission trip fundraiser Saturday, she kept insisting that I was going around screwing everything up. telling everyone i can’t property roll dough, rip wax paper or open a can of cherries, and saying things like “way to be crystal. way to be.”

whatever fine. yes. i put holes in the dough, yes. i tore the wax paper and yes. i kind of dropped the tin lid into the cherries.

but alas, i was in denial.

so i tried to take the recipe we used for the fundraiser (provided by the lovely Renee, who goes to our church and makes pie crust like a pastry angle) and bake a cherry pie for my mom last night.

except i suck at making pie crust.

i swear to the oven gods that i used the EXACT recipe i was given. i mixed the oil, flour, salt and cold water EXACTLY as i was told to. and WAM! i get a half-covered pie that has an overbearing wheat flour flavor

i just don’t understand it. i helped roll out 30 crusts Saturday.

THIRTY CRUSTS.  what the heck? how did this happen?

i was planning to make a movie-ready pie and then share the specifics with ya’ll, but seeing as how it turned out like a, well, just look at the picture, i think it would be better for all involved if i wait to figure out what went wrong and report back.

for those you who have your own pie crust recipes though and are aching to make a vegan cherry concoction, i WILL tell you that it’s just two cans of cherry pie filling mixed with cinnamon. that’s it. this is one of those awesome baking recipes that’s already vegan and doesn’t have to be tweaked.

and yes, the filling is delicious.

but even that didn’t make me feel better about this whole thing. i mean, it was basically PRE-MADE! just heat. spice and serve.

thankfully, my mom loves me so much that she barely even noticed how much i had screwed up, and even cleaned her plate when i gave her a piece.

and that right there folks. well that’s how i know my mother loves me for me.

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things that make my mom rock

from left to right. my mom, me.
from left to right. my mom, me.

it’s not like i can go around ignoring a news peg like Mother’s Day. I’m a REPORTER people. so i will now take this opportunity to mention few specific things that make my mom rock.

  • she always gives me $10 $20 $50 in gas money when i visit.
  • she loves great america as much as i do.
  • and water parks.
  • she never pressures me to give her grandkids.
  • she always pays when we go out for dinner.
  • she helps me move like three times a year, even after all my other family members disown me.
  • speaking of helping me move, when i got a job in south dakota, she didn’t even blink when i needed her to drive 15 hours in -80 degree weather across half the country to the mount rushmore state.
  • im 25, but she still pays my cell phone bill.
  • when i date losers, she gives me the space to figure it out by myself.
  • she buys tofurky when i visit and even tells me she LIKES the way it taste.
  • while we’re talking about tofurky, she has NEVER discouraged my veganism.
  • she’s my biggest fan.
  • when we fight, we always make up.
  • she reads my twitter even though she barely knows what twitter is.
  • she laughs at all my jokes
  • she’s my mom.
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let’s all talk about how i cried at the end of the scrubs finale

even though im not a boy, or a doctor, i’ve always thought the character of J.D. on scrubs was based on me. and my life.

im not going to lie, the whole thing sometimes makes me wish i had become a doctor. or a nurse. or at least a medical billing professional.

sigh.

i just watched the two-part series finale (which you can find here) and seriously, that show is so awesome. with it’s life reflections, and story lines that wrap up with pretty bows at the end of every episode, it has gotten me through my alone time in South Dakota, when i had no family around; my job-related sadness in Wisconsin, when i wondered why i had even gone into newspapering in the first place; and my singleness here, now.

turk and jd remind me that good friends can be just like family, elliot’s mishaps with throw-up and poop prove that passion can get me through anything, and dr. cox and jordan’s crazy post-divorce family, well i guess that just shows love has a funny way of sneaking up on you.

it has morals (you can’t force things to go your way, but life usually turns out all right anyway), and hugs (jd. turk. need i say more) and all things sitcom (27 minutes long). but it’s not so much a tv show as it is a half hour with my friends.

im glad abc was able to give it the ending it deserved.

and im glad that it will live on in rerun land for ever.

but most of all, im glad it’s been there for me. been there to grow and learn. me and JD. while we figure out this whole crazy business of being a grown-up.

And now, one of my favorite clips. it’s not from the finale, but it’s still pretty great.

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