So i think people totally underestimate my stalking abilities. seriously.
and that’s a shame, because I’m really good at stalking.
you see, Johnny Depp is kind of filming a major motion picture (do they still call movies that?) at an airport like one mile from my house. ok, maybe two miles. but two miles is still REALLY close. The movie is called “public enemies” and it’s a 1930s-era gangster flick (ya, ‘flick,’ that’s what they call movies now).
Since i’m in love with Johnny (that’s right, we’re on a FIRST-name basis), I figured I should go say hi and all.
Actually, what happened was, I got off work and thought I’d just go by the airport they were rumored to be filiming at and see if anything was going on. and because God DOES love me (hi God!), stuff was totally going on.
and ya, johnny depp wasn’t there yet, but I had faith.
The first rule of gawking (or as i like to call it, ‘hanging out at a random airport just because’) is to tell EVERYONE you meet that you know someone, who knows someone who knows SOMETHING.
It doesn’t have to be a real ‘something.’ It can be ANYTHING. For example, if you tell someone that you KNOW, with 100-percent certainty, that Johnny Depp only chews peppermint gum, they’ll totally let you use their umbrella.
OR, if you tell someone that Johnny Depp is staying in town, they’ll totally show you the super cool pictures they took with their 14-foot camera lens.
Oh! AND! if you tell someone that you know someone who’s an extra, they’ll give their house. true story. (ish).
I made some quick friends. One, I’m a pretty good at saying things i don’t really know about with an air of authority. Two, everyone was just SO EXCITED about johnny coming, that they didn’t seem to notice that they didn’t actually know me. and Three, i just look like a nice girl.
all this helped me get to the VERY FRONT of the fence we couldn’t cross.
the second rule of gawking is to bring binoculars. i didn’t know this rule, but a girl in a red coat standing next to me totally did. and since she had just become my new best friend, she totally let me borrow them!