medium – Page 97 – The only certainty is bad grammar

happy, happy, happy half birrrrrthday to meeee

February 23, 2008 Crystal anti-meat, medium

i have a stupid summer birthday. so although ive had an over abundance of pool parties to celebrate me, i’ve also had an under abundance of school parties to celebrate me. that is until one of my teachers decided i could celebrate my birthday in February. HOW?! i asked in amazement. “Well, Feb. 23 would be your half birthday,” i was told. my what? what? what? “your HALF birthday”

and so, today, i am 24 AND A HALF and in honor of elementary school im celebrating it. (ish). and i’ve even made a half birthday resolution — see, I’m reading this book, and it’s all about how “soda is liquid satan” and how i should quit being a loser vegetarian and go full force with the vegan-ism. and i really, really want to do it.

i’ve tried before and know how freaking hard it is, so im thinking baby steps. which are kind of like half-steps, you know — in honor of my HALF birthday. you’ll probably still see me eating cheese and stuff, but hopefully you’ll see a little more brown rice and fresh fruit mixed in. hopefully.

yay 24 and a half. yay.

i need sleep

February 20, 2008 Crystal medium

i don’t know if you all know this, but for the first time in about 25 years, Oshkosh was on the map these past few weeks. (I mean literally, Oshkosh was on CNN’s map of Wisconsin). we had this little election thing going on here and it kind of got some attention from those main stream media folks. and me (who’s in the side stream media) got to cover some of it. you know, nothing major, just a few presidential candidates coming to town and stuff. whatev.

but that has basically meant i haven’t slept in like two weeks (ish) and now I’m tired as crap. I worked until about 1 a.m. last night waiting to find out how the people in ward 13 of Oshkosh voted then dutifully got a drink with the only other people in town who also care about how the voters in ward 13 voted.

and then i went to work at like 10 this morning and no matter how much coffee and pop (that’s right im from Illinois and i said POP) i drank, i COULD NOT wake up. so i called it a semi-early day and went home and laid down and slept. and it was like i had taken tylenol pm even though i hadn’t because i was so exhausted.

and i woke to use the bathroom a few minutes ago and now im writing this post so all you people out there mad at me for not posting for the last day (all two of you) can know why. it’s because im damn tired. that’s why.

oh, and go (candidate x). go. go.

does that make me a loser?

February 18, 2008 Crystal medium

as some of you may already know, i had a pretty freaking crummy valentine’s day and I’m just go to put it out there — I blame Snow for that. stupid Snow.

Anyway, because I basically spent the day of love alone. in my apartment. i didn’t really get any cool valentine’s day chocolate. in fact, the only thing i got was a card from my grandma (which was very nice by the way). but, I thought i was ok with not getting anything else.

and i really was— until I went to Wal-Greens last night. I turned down aisle three to see … easter candy. WTF? already? I mean, I don’t even think JESUS has started to buy easter candy yet, and it’s HIS ~~birthday~~ resurection. but, whatever. and then, it happened. i looked to the left and there it was. all the stupid valentine’s day candy wal-greens had failed to sell. and. it was ALL 50 percent off. and 90 percent of it was CHOCOLATE. the only problem was it was in stupid heart-shaped boxes. and it can be really awkward to buy a heart-shaped box A: afterValentine’s day and B: for yourself.

but there was fannie may PEOPLE. don’t you understand how good fannie may is? and it’s typically really expensive. but not on Feb. 16, as long as you’re willing to ignore the heart-shaped box.

NO (i thought). i can’t buy valentine’s day candy for myself. that’s just stupid. but then. i remembered that I don’t really care about looking stupid. and i bought two. that’s right. i bought TWO heart-shaped boxes worth of candy. for myself. and i don’t even care. (that much). what’s that? you want a fannine may chocolate? get your own.