ya. i could see titanic 498 more times, and i still wouldn’t get sick of it

im sitting at home watching the movie titanic on TNT.tv. in case you’re trying to do the math in your head, i was in fact its EXACT target market when it came out -14 years old and a freshman in high school. and holy crap did it solidify my true love for leonardo. see, what happened was i had developed a small crush after seeing in him in Romeo and Juliet, but that came out when i like 11, so at the time i didn’t even know my feelings were a crush.

don’t worry though. by the time i was 14, i KNEW what love felt like. and i spent $7 like 5 times to go see the three-and-a-half-hour movie at the local Lowes Ciniplex, which a. was walking distance from my house, and thereby perfect for a 14 year old, and b. has since turned into some sort of muslim church. true story, my friend’s dad didn’t realize this and attempted to take a date there once. he figured out was was happening when he walked in to the former lobby and saw that pop corn was not, in fact, on sale.

ok. back to titanic. i made all three of my friends see it with me. multiple times. and then i cried EVERY.TIME. and explained to everyone that this was THE BEST MOVIE EVER. PEOPLE!

and yes, the movie may have done some permanent damage by convincing me that money isn’t important, despite the fact that it is. and that poor guys are sexy. and these two things may have not only led to my tragic career choice, (where i make no money) but also to my many tragic dating choices. sigh. it’s just SUCH a good movie though.

i will now rekindle your undoubted love for this movie, by explaining some of my favorite parts:

1. when rose says she bought Picasso paintings, and her stupid idiot finance says Picasso is lame and will never amount to anything.

2. when leo (jack) saves rose who’s planning to kill herself by jumping off the boat. (i do close my eyes here though, because i always think that THIS time, he won’t be able to pull her back on the ship and she’ll die). and rose says, “you’re distracting me. go away.” and leo says, “i can’t. im involved now.” (le sigh. he is SO cute). and rose says “you’re crazy.” and then leo says “that’s what everybody says, but with all do respect miss. im not the one hanging off the back of a ship here.”

3. When rose gives leo’s last name as her own at the end.

4. when leo teaches rose how to spit like a man.

5. when leo gives rose a note after dinner. im always worried that after the dinner, they might never get the chance to see each other again. alas, he was on top of things though and able to borrow a pen.

6. when rose’s stupid fiancee tries to buy his way onto one of the life boats and someone tells him that money is no longer important.

7. when the stupid idiot who built the ship is talking about how big it is, and then rose says “do you know of dr. Freud? … His ideas about the male’s preoccupation with size might be of particular interest to you.” and the idiot says “Freud, who is he? a passenger of the ship?”

8. basically the whole move.

  • Share/Bookmark

if you haven’t seen “broadcast news” then the following review is totally timely

editor’s note: the following is a follow-up to my previous post, found below or by clicking here.

to be fair “broadcast news” has some pretty great lines. I stole the following off imdb’s site here. even though you could just click that link and read them or you could just watch them in context by renting the movie from the “favorites” section at “family video,” i decided that im SO important that i should choose my favorites for your viewing pleasure. i will make them more valuable than “cut and paste” because i will add witty analysis after each one:

Aaron Altman: I know you care about him. I’ve never seen you like this about anyone, so please don’t take it wrong when I tell you that I believe that Tom, while a very nice guy, is the Devil.
Jane Craig: This isn’t friendship.
Aaron Altman: What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he’s around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I’m semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing… he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance… Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he’ll get all the great women.

I kind of think some people in my life are the devil in disguise. also, famous people like George Bush kind of remind me of the devil in this sense. and btw, God, in case im totally off base about Bush on this, im going to go ahead and ask for precautionary forgiveness.


Blair Litton: Oh, you think anyone who’s proud of the work we do is an ass-kisser.
Aaron Altman: No, I think anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their bosses buttocks and then *smooches* is an ass-kisser.
Blair Litton: My gosh… and for a while there I was attracted to you.
Aaron Altman: Well, wait a minute, that changes everything!

i like to pretend that one of my co-workers is aaron in this situation and one of my other co-workers is blair.


Paul Moore: It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you’re the smartest person in the room.
Jane Craig: No. It’s awful.

i feel like jane feels here. all. the. time. — not because i have a big ego, just because im always right and i think most authority figures are always wrong. (not all, just most.)


Read more “if you haven’t seen “broadcast news” then the following review is totally timely”

  • Share/Bookmark