My ankle is jacked

The Bears apparently still suck.

Crazy huh?

Stupid Packers.

It took the cheeseheads 1 minute and 43 seconds to score, which wouldn’t be so bad if say, they had started with the ball.

Lame.

Moving on.

My ankle is JACKED.

I was at Jazzercise Saturday morning, all ‘skip-ball-change HOP! skip-ball-change HOP! skip-ball-change HOP! skip-ball-change HOLY BANANA COVERED SNOW FROM PIRATES! WHAT THE GROUND HOG DAY JUST HAPPENED?????!!!!!’

I pretty much touched the arch of my foot to my ankle bone and then landed on it.

Just writing that hurts.

It kinda looks like someone painted it purple, blue and puffy.

And before you go all “DID YOU SEE A DOCTOR” on me, A. I am still (STILL) paying off my surgery from a year ago. and B. I didn’t hear the infamous “crack” sound you hear so much about when bones break, so I’m banking on it just being sprained, in which case, I can implement RICE (rest, ice, compress, elevate) by my own self, thank you very much.

I will say that going to the bathroom has turned into a medal-worthy project involving mostly unused arm muscles and trusting a wall-mounted toilet paper holder to bear more weight than the manufacturer recommends.

Luckily, my family is so freaking awesome that as soon as I called my mom with tears in my eyes, she gathered up my sister, my niece, my grandma, a pair of crutches and some taco bell and they all came over.

Thank God.

Seriously.

Without them I’d be avoiding water so as cancel out unnecessary ladies’ room trips, living on peanut butter from the jar (I don’t really grocery shop), and using lukewarm water to ice my ankle because getting fresh ice would suck too much.  Plus, I’m pretty sure my roommate doesn’t want to help me into shower – making me (much appreciated) eggs with cheese and soy chik’n strips was more her limit.

Now excuse while I take 3 advil, watch the Bears lose, and contemplate how exactly I will drive with my left foot tomorrow.

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Wishing them a life dripping with blessings

My friend Diana is the kind of gal who loves steak, arranges her schedule on Ash Wednesday so she can go to noon Mass, and who follows the news so closely that when I get a breaking CNN text alert, she already heard about whatever happened 10 minutes ago.

And she’s become one of my closest friends since I met her about a year and a half ago.

Which is why I couldn’t possibly be more happy that yesterday she got married to the love of her life – Chuck.

I have never in my life seen a bride so genuinely happy.

Ever.

And her now-husband was beaming so much that I thought sunshine might start coming out of his teeth.

The setting was intimate, the vows were genuine and  polka dancing was fun to watch. And I learned a valuable lesson about the expiration date of the electric slide.

I don’t even mind that multiple members of the Mariachi band asked to take cell phone pictures with me. My Spanish is rusty, but I can only assume they either thought I was pretty or that I had toilet paper sticking out of my nylons and nobody wanted to tell me.

I wish both Diana and Chuck a home that’s dripping with blessings, a life filled with more happy times than bad and a love that really does make the two of you become one.

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– I know it’s grainy, but I was in the back because I got there a tad late (Sorry Diana). I LOVE how Chuck is smiling here though. He looked like that pretty much the whole day. True story.

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– Diana and I. And yes, that smile was on her face right down the end when the banquet hall staff were starting to clean up.

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With a straight face

My family is gathered today to eat tons of food and plan out the Black Friday festivities.

And, last night we played Taboo. It’s a game where you have to get your team to guess a word without saying any of the “Taboo” words listed under the word.

At one point my little sister shouted out clues about me. She said the answer was “what Crystal wears every winter.”

The answer was “straight jacket.”

She didn’t understand.

Or so she says.

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