in a time of hope, i still manage to worry.

things that worry me:

1. the sound my phone makes in the middle of the night when i get an email wakes up my roommate down the hall. and she secretly hates me for it.

2. i will go to work tomorrow and be told that my newspaper cannot, in fact, afford to pay me any longer.

3. my car my will break down and because i just spent my $400 life savings on my new laptop, i will be totally screwed.

4. something really bad will happen to our country’s leader.

5. I’ll never have kids.

6. i’ll have kids.

7. the neighbor i steal this internet connection from until my roommate’s router gets fixed will find me and report me to the appropriate internet police.

8. that i chose the wrong career.

9. that the doctor took my gall bladder out, but really i have like an ulcer or something that was causing the pain, and nothing is really fixed.

10. i’ll make a stupid mistake in one of my articles and the world will collapse around me. i.e. that i meant to write shirt, but forgot the r.

11. i’ll never figure out the root of the smell in my car.

12. a really important person, (boss, source, cute guy) will need to sit in my car and then secretly tell everyone that said car smells.

13. that there could be such a thing as “too much taco bell”

14. what if i can never lay on my right side again because my organs shifted after my surgery and everything is messed up.

15. someday i will have to sit through the movie “mall cop

16. i’ll hit a car when i back out of a parking lot because i can’t see around a humongous suv. (note. this actually happened to me, so it’s not like some crazy random fear people).

17. my inability to spell will finally catch up with me.

18. match.com is so mad at me about dropping my subscription that they’ve started sending two eamils a day. 1. he’s looking at your profile. find out who he is. 2. she’s looking at your profile. find out who she is. Did i give off an unintentional bisexual vibe when i wrote that my turn ons include thunderstorms?

19. this list is too long and nobody will read the whole thing.

20. that i somehow broke the cord that connects my blackberry to my laptop because now it’s super touchy and only kinda works if i press it in to the phone.

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reflections on chruch

1. I do not understand what the proper etiquette is for the bulletin the ushers give out. (for you heathens out there, the bulletin is what they hand you when you walk in. it has a list of the songs and verses for the day’s service as well as church announcements, such as (but not limited to): upcoming bake sales, christmas pageants and requests for tube socks and non-electric can openers). PEOPLE! it has the WORD OF GOD written all over the freaking thing. how the heck am I supposed to throw that away? I have determined that it would be COMPLETELY unacceptable to throw it away AT church (seeing as how nobody else seems to ever do this), but I also HATE bringing it home, because i end up feeling guilty about throwing it away there too. then i keep it for like three months before i finally break down and recycle it.

2. during the meet and greet portion in the beginning of service i have this unjustified fear that i will forget that i already shook someone’s hand, then shake their hand again and they they’ll be offended that i forgot about them in under two seconds.

3. i’ve been getting really into church lately, and it’s not like this is a out-of-nowhere thing. i was raised christian and all. but im secretly worried that after Christmas the high will wear off. will church still be fun after they take down the 12-foot tree near the alter? is that when i should start counting down the days till easter?

4. i wish i could sing. if i could sing i’d TOTALLY be in the freaking choir. sometimes i wonder if i can fake it long enough to join because christians don’t usually reject people, but i know in my heart that i’d never get through hymn number 2042.

5. tithing is HARD. i mean HARD. i’ve decided 8 percent of my income after taxes is the best i can do for now. (note to God: i would like to point out that i do volunteer for stuff, so i figure that makes up the extra 2 percent).

6. during children’s time at church last week, the pastor explained that jesus lives in our heart. on child (and possible future surgeon) said ‘if we get an x-ray machine, can we see him then?’ sounded like a valid question to me.

7. i don’t want my list to have six things on it because that’s the devils number.

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random thoughts (Thanksgiving edition)

Things I’m thankful for:

1. ultrasounds. seriously, how the heck would the doctors have known about my gallstones had they not been able to use the magical device that lets them see INSIDE me?

2. cheap gas prices. enough said.

3. my family’s love of mario kart. we all just sit around and play it on my mom’s supa big tv. and then we talk smack. and then i beat my brother steve because I’m awesome. and for once, from age 9 to 25, we all have something in common.

4. tofurky. have you TRIED this stuff? I can’t find any place near my house that sells it, but woodman’s in rockford sells it, so I bought $50 worth last night. true story. expect my breath to smell lake fake turkey for the next month or so.

5. having a job that coordinates with my major. YES, i get STA-RESSED (that’s stressed) at work. but at the end of the day, at least I’m not asking people if they want fries with that. or worse, if they’d like another press release (that’s a jab  at pr people, for those who didn’t notice) (i kid because I’m jealous of how much pr people make).

6. match.com. i joined because my roommate wrote a REALLY nice testimonial about me, and then people sent me e-mail that match.com assured me were from THE ONE, so I paid $35 for a month of service and read the e-mails. and for now all I’m going to say is that things are going well. (we’ll talk more about this later).

7. attached garage. which i have. and which allows me to avoid the age-old midwestern task of scrapping off my car in the morning.

8. football. because i can call my dad during the game and tell him I love hester and gould and he repliys that he loves them too (except when the packers kick their butts) (then we just cry together).

9. my church. finding a church is hard. finding a church that says the “Our Father,” has open communion and stained glass windows, and supplies me with apple pie occasionally is harder. i’ve found one. and i really like it.

10. blogs.

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