humor – Page 67 – The only certainty is bad grammar

Indiana Jones: Movie 4 review

June 17, 2008 Crystal short

In a nutshell: eh.

In depth: eh. it was ohhhh-kay i guess.

ya i like harrison ford. ya i like special effects. ya i liked that MY name was in the title (“the kingdom of the CRYSTAL skull.” fun times. don’t be jealous. my name is just cooler than yours.) and ya, i like all the inside jokes that you would only get if you had watched 1,2 and 3 (see: “I hate snakes”)

but i think my expectations were too high on this one. and to be fair i had just seen Sex and City the week before so it had a lot of live up to.

I guess i would say go see it, but only during a matinee. and with a student discount.

i do recommend the overall theater experience though because people flying through jungles on vines just looks so much, umm, cooler on a ginormus screen. with surround sound. and the smell of pop corn.

do any of you guys see it? thoughts?

so the weather in wisconsin is kinda crazy

June 16, 2008 Crystal im cool, medium, wisconsin

i would just like to take this moment to remind everyone that when i interviewed for my current job in wisconsin it was like 80 degrees.

in october.

PEOPLE! it’s the d*mn reason i moved here. that, and the pay raise. but the weather and the pay raise were seriously equal partners in my decision.

and then i got here a measly three weeks later and it snowed everyday for 7 months straight.

and that totally sucked.

but when June came i thought it was in the clear.

i wasn’t.

turns out they get MASSIVE RAINS here. i mean M.A.S.S.I.V.E. massive.

and then, when things start to dry out, you think ‘maybe i can sleep with my window open tonight, seing as how it’s summer and dry out.’

that would be a stupid thought though, because apparently despite the area’s June month, it gets d*mn cold here at night.

and now my throat hurts.

and im applying for jobs in mexico while practicing my spanish on my lunch breaks. seriously. i NEED to be somewhere warmer.

wish me luck. or as they say in espanol: wish me buena suerte.

i got by with a little help from my friend

June 6, 2008 Crystal journalism, medium

man. i had this friend once.

he was so. freaking. cool.

seriously.

this guy was co-ol.

he would let me call him like 17 times a day and never get annoyed. and then he would call me like 14 times in the same day and compliment my “micheal jackson” ring-back tone no matter what.

and he would let me talk about being vegan all. the. freaking. time. and he would never complain about listening to stories of soy.

Oh! AND he was a journalist — so my in-depth theories about lede structure never bored him.

not once.

and since he’s seen every movie ever made, he’d let me ramble on about whichever johnny depp film i had just watched (and you shouldn’t underestimate how many johnny depp films i watch).

also, he was so freaking funny.

his e-mails would crack my sh*t UP. and (when i shared them with others) they would crack my co-worker’s sh*t up. and they would crack my friend’s sh*t up. and then they would crack my sh*t up a-gain.

but the best thing about this friend was that he believed in me.

i mean, if you asked this guy “what is crystal going to be when she grows up?” he’d say — without even pausing — “amazing.”

it’s not that he thought i was a good writer (he did) or that i was funny (he did) it’s that he thought i was the kind of gal who could fix the world. (or something equally as important).

i mean this guy really believed I was amazing.

and he had a way of making me believe it about me too.

and even when he got to know me (and ALL my faults (including, but not limited to: my coke-a-cola addiction, my need to complain about all things snow, and my crazy vegan ways)) his faith in me didn’t fade.

because this guy thought that i was shiny inside. and if other people didn’t see the light, they were just stupid.

it wasn’t weird. or uncomfortable. or awkward.

it just was.

he believed in me. and by extension i started to believe in me.

and he and i aren’t talking now.

and every day kind of a sucks a little bit as a result.

and even though it’s nice outside. AND im the proud owner of a couch. AND i totally didn’t f*ck up at work this week — everything was a little dull without him to talk to.

and i just wanted to say that i miss him.

a lot.

and i hope we find our way back.

because friends like him are so cool.