My Jesus stamp.

Saturday night, I made a last-minute decision to go out.

And by last-minute, I mean an old friend had invited me to go out on Saturday night like last week, but he’s notorious for breaking plans, so I didn’t think he’d actually follow through, and then when he did, I was all “Umm, Ok. I guess I can meet up with you.”

But it ended up being mid-night by the time I got to the club and I had to be to church by 9 a.m., so this was kind of a stupid decision.

Some people were like, “just skip church” but youth group leaders can never “just skip church.” So I hunkered down, and told my body that I’d be up all night and then do church and then sleep forever.

I also brought a toothbrush in case I ended up going straight from “friends in Palatine” to “church in Woodstock.”

But then, just in case I was having any doubt whatsoever about making it to church on time, God appeared.

While, actually, it was his son. On my hand.

Everyone’s hand.

It was the bar’s stamp showing you’d paid cover.

What the heck kind of bar does that? It’s like putting calorie counts on French fries, or having a little clock tell you how much of your life you just wasted on Facebook . It’s weird.

I mean, I wasn’t planning to go on some sort of sin rampage or anything, but still.

Seeing the son of God just chilling on my right hand, smiling at me, like he knew something was throwing me off. It was like he was planning to intervene later if needed. And for some reason, he thought it’d be needed.

The bartender tried to claim it was a picture of the DJ, but that made no sense at all, seeing as how there was a BAND playing.

Clearly, I made it to church on time. Early, actually.


– My Jesus stamp.

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Tomorrow is Groundhog Day. Tomorrow is Groundhog Day. Tomorrow is Groundhog Day.

1. Tomorrow is Groundhog Day, which is kind of a big freaking deal in my town because they filmed the only movie ever made ever about the holiday right here in Woodstock. The groundhog is slated to emerge at about 7 a.m., when I will be sleeping. Don’t fret though, I already made Woodstock Willie a deal involving grasshoppers and berries, so I’m pretty sure we can expect highs in the mid-60s by this time next week.

2. I’m still broke.

3. I need a pair of cross-trainer shoes so I can do Jazzercise again, but I have no money. (See: no.2). And I wanted to get a pair of shoes on clearance or something at Wal-Mart, but the only ones there that didn’t totally suck were $23. And I’m not abouts to spend $23 on some shoes that barely meet the minimum requirement of not sucking. So, just for kicks (pun intended) I went the New Balance store, where the cross trainers fit like little pieces of sunshine. But they were $70, which is more money than I’m living on right now, so I couldn’t buy them. In conclusion, I haven’t done Jazzercise yet since THE SPRAIN. Also, do you want to buy me shoes?

4. Apture is jacked on my site, and sometimes I just want to call someone on a real phone and tell them to come over to my house and fix my internets for free. Is that too much to ask for a free product I use? No. Not it is no. For some reason, Apture, (the program that gives readers pop-out windows when they hover over my links) got rid of the external embed system I was using, and now I can’t figure out how to fix the internal embed system, which I now HAVE to use, and I’m too tired to work it out. In the meantime, you will need to just click on things if you want to see what I linked to.

5. RE: Half a person, now, with Art! I know I already posted this “before” picture of me, but I have a new “after” picture, and when I look at it on my computer I have to keep reminding myself that it’s um, ME! So I was like, screw it, it’s MY blog, and I can post a new set of before and after pictures any freaking time I want. Am I right?

So here you go:

One more time, before:  June, 2009


After (new and improved): Jan. 31, 2010


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