The only certainty is bad grammar

so just to get you guys up to speed:

aside from the fact that three weeks ago, my car died, (detailed here.), I have also, within the past few weeks: gone 24 hours without power, gotten in a car accident and somehow managed to SCRATCH MY EYE.

:: deep breath ::

we’ll go chronologically.

first. there was the infamous power outage that came after a chicagoland storm (equivalent to a sunny afternoon by wisconsin standards) that knocked out power from here to well, wisconsin. 

it resulted in 12 hours of vanilla scented candles lighting my apartment, a shower so cold i felt like someone was stabbing my skin, and me blowing drying my hair in a grocery store bathroom.

(comed is stupid).

but, now that i look back on it, it wasn’t that big of a deal, because, on tuesday, i pulled out of a parking space at the tanning salon and rammed right into a 1998 monte carlo.

(insert expletives).

my car is, of course, fine.

his?

well.

notsomuch.

(and my insurance rates were JUST about to go down following my 25th birthday. ugh.)

ok.

no big deal.

ya i was pretty freaking sore by wednesday.

and no pain medication helped me feel better. and the heat patches didn’t make me feel better.

but i could deal with it.

until I SCRATCHED MY EYEBALL.

no, i don’t know how. (some people would argue its contact-lens related, but there is no actual proof of that).

after one trip to urgent care (under the assumption that it was pink eye) and one trip to an optometrist, i realized i was going to be house bound for awhile.

see. besides the PAIN, and the PUSSY EYE and i also can’t wear my contacts for a week.

and i don’t have glasses.

that means i just shelled out $200 to pearl vision, so i could get glasses by tomorrow. (and by ‘i just shelled out’ i actually mean, ‘my roommate lent me’)

now im stuck at home, unable to drive.

and i just wrote a bad $30 check for my eye drops that I’m hoping wal-greens won’t cash till tomorrow (pay day).

and i can’t see anything.

and writing this post is actually hurting my eye.

and im still sore from the stupid car accident.

and my car still hates me.

somebody PLEASE bring me a four-leaf clover.

please?

so just to get you guys up to speed:

aside from the fact that three weeks ago, my car died, (detailed here.), I have also, within the past few weeks: gone 24 hours without power, gotten in a car accident and somehow managed to SCRATCH MY EYE.

:: deep breath ::

we’ll go chronologically.

first. there was the infamous power outage that came after a chicagoland storm (equivalent to a sunny afternoon by wisconsin standards) that knocked out power from here to well, wisconsin. 

it resulted in 12 hours of vanilla scented candles lighting my apartment, a shower so cold i felt like someone was stabbing my skin, and me blowing drying my hair in a grocery store bathroom.

(comed is stupid).

but, now that i look back on it, it wasn’t that big of a deal, because, on tuesday, i pulled out of a parking space at the tanning salon and rammed right into a 1998 monte carlo.

(insert expletives).

my car is, of course, fine.

his?

well.

notsomuch.

(and my insurance rates were JUST about to go down following my 25th birthday. ugh.)

ok.

no big deal.

ya i was pretty freaking sore by wednesday.

and no pain medication helped me feel better. and the heat patches didn’t make me feel better.

but i could deal with it.

until I SCRATCHED MY EYEBALL.

no, i don’t know how. (some people would argue its contact-lens related, but there is no actual proof of that).

after one trip to urgent care (under the assumption that it was pink eye) and one trip to an optometrist, i realized i was going to be house bound for awhile.

see. besides the PAIN, and the PUSSY EYE and i also can’t wear my contacts for a week.

and i don’t have glasses.

that means i just shelled out $200 to pearl vision, so i could get glasses by tomorrow. (and by ‘i just shelled out’ i actually mean, ‘my roommate lent me’)

now im stuck at home, unable to drive.

and i just wrote a bad $30 check for my eye drops that I’m hoping wal-greens won’t cash till tomorrow (pay day).

and i can’t see anything.

and writing this post is actually hurting my eye.

and im still sore from the stupid car accident.

and my car still hates me.

somebody PLEASE bring me a four-leaf clover.

please?