April 2008 – Page 6 – The only certainty is bad grammar

confessions of an imperfect vegan

April 22, 2008 Crystal anti-meat, medium

well, the good news is: Festival Foods (you know, the grocery store that always has a par-tay! going on inside) started carring vegan “macaroni and alfredo” in a box! and they called me (they’re favorite annoying vegan) on Saturday to say they’d also be carrying vegan “macaroni and cheese” in a box.

yum.

the bad news is: i may-have-kind-of-sort-of bought some shoes with a touch of leather.

just a touch.

HEY! i NEED comfortable work shoes.

and i don’t even care what you think of me.

seriously.

i don’t.

stop giving me that look.

stop it.

because i don’t care.

and you know what? YOU can judge me when YOU give up cheese for three months.

ha.

i TOLD you.

and you know what else!? when YOU want to give me like $550 so i can buy a collection of vegan shoes, send me a check. until then, i really don’t care what you think.

really.

i don’t.

and p.s. my body wash totally isn’t tested on animals, so im thinking that MORE than makes up for the shoes.

I totally freaking met Johnny Depp (again!)

April 17, 2008 Crystal im cool, Johnny Depp, short, wisconsin

Here it is!!!!!! the picture I TOOK of Johnny Depp.

did i mention i love him?

because i do. (hell-o! he touched my hand! — we have a con-nec-tion!)

UPDATE: I also took this video of Johnny Depp Thursday night. and before you say anything — it was for WORK! so no, I’m NOT a stalker. I’m just a good employee. ha.

btw, the video is the one labeled ‘Public Enemies’: Depp gives fans a third close-up on April 17.’

doing what johnny depp does seems hard. and tiring

April 17, 2008 Crystal im cool, Johnny Depp, long, wisconsin

well, since I’m officially “the closest to a real stalker as (my co-workers) can allow (me) to ethically get” (hi erin!), i went out to try to see jonnhy depp just ONE. MORE. TIME. wednesday night.

plus, um how often IS johnny depp like three blocks from where you work. huh? huh? that’s right. once. once in your WHOLE life.

This time I wasn’t a lonely gawker because i was actually standing with people i knew — three women who missed out on the whole religious experience i had Monday night.

actually, 3.7 women, because one of them is like 8 months pregnant. true story.

we had to wait like three hours, which is a little longer than I waited monday night, but a LOT shorter than what i waited Friday night.

and i had to keep convincing this little boy next to me that it was in fact TOTALLY worth it to wait this long to see Captain Jack Sparrow. (i know, duh! right?)

and then.

there was the official johnny sighting. (!)